To Be or Not To Be

In the last post I wrote about our railway minister Mr Laloo Prasad Yadav. This man is one of the most talked about (good or bad, it’s a different issue) leaders of present India. I thank readers of this blog for their valuable opinions on the subject. I am glad to have received both-sided views.

Well, it is not a concealed fact that this person, for his own selfishness has ruled and ruined an entire state for more than a decade. Bihar is the state which became worse from bad under the leadership of Laloo Yadav. With unearthing of different scams from time to time, we all came to know of some of his ‘good’ deeds. And I am sure there would be many more undetected ones. Kidnappings, ransom, extortions, corruption, booth capturing, mass copying, mass murders, blinding in jails are part of daily affairs in everybody’s life and where bribing is considered infra dig and is laughed at?

I was shocked to see when his dumb wife was made a puppet chief minister and once again the whole world helplessly watched it happening. Nobody could do anything or should I say ‘did not want to do’ anything ? Self-interest and self-centeredness was the only motive of his life.

Aren’t we ashamed of this ? I would be the last person to see him as prime minister of India.

But but but.. there is other side of this coin too. As PM and Alok rightly mentioned, this man has some very good qualities. Leadership is one of them. He is a leader par excellence. Also he is an excellent manager and manipulator. He knows exactly how to take along a group of hooligons with him.
I think we should always appreciate and learn the good qualities of a person even if he happens to be our enemy. Don’t get me wrong. Look at the way he continues to achieve what he wants to... by hook or crook is another point of discussions.
Like Arjun of Mahabharat, he concentrates only on his target, doesn’t think twice about the mean strategies he is going to adopt to. He knows very well how to get the work done, how to be in limelight and how to take the credit. We must admit the fact that he is very sharp and shrewd. He constantly thinks of the future and his future moves just as in a game of Chess.

Concern - If only he utilized his these qualities in improving the affairs of his country. If only we could make him lead a clean team for betterment of India. If only we can make him change his personal goal to a national one. If only...

Current song- Love Me Do – Beatles

Harvard !! We have a competition here

Dressed in a kurta pyjama, today he was at his usual best. Choosing to call himself as “Guruji”, he stole the limelight from the word go.
Today more than 100 students of Harvard and Barton (Ooops, Wharton) business schools came to meet him in New Delhi and to study his role as CEO of a successful government organization.

One of the students said “We wanted to meet him to understand how he applied in practice what we learn in management schools. We had heard a lot about him and felt we should try and understand the principles he has been using.”

He explained to the students at length in Hindi how he had broken the western myth that unprofitable enterprise should be privatized and its employees downsized. In the past, he has given management ‘gyan’ to IIM Ahmedabad and Bangalore students and to the chief of General Electric.

He expressed pride at the fact that his department is now in a position to teach something to students of top management schools.
Now, think of the positive side, every year hundreds of students from India go to these top management schools to learn something what this gentleman is practicing at home. Think of the Forex we can save by opting to study under this most enviable person of this modern India.

So what if he speaks Hindi most of the time and even if he tries to speak English (with due respect), it is beyond most peepul’z undershtanding. Wherri wherri diphicult.

After all, it ijh for us he has kept his plans of becoming prime minister of India pending ?
Yes, I am talking about our Railway minister, Laloo Prasad Yadav.

Current song- Love Me Do – Beatles

Of Helplessness

Why sometimes people don’t listen to you ? Even your near and dear ones? No, I am not advocating for any kind of skills here. It is neither a question of their inferior listening skills nor our inadequate communications skills. It is something about the human nature, human behavior.

Why some people want to fall again and again for something which is going to give them pain, pain and only pain ? It is so frustrating at times when someone you know wants to go down again to those alluring tempting short term pleasures and won’t listen to your words of caution. It hurts dreadfully... to all of us, them as well as us.
They don’t realize what they are doing to their life, neither do they think twice about how much they going to suffer after that foolish act and how much pain they going to inflict on us.

To me, it is a suicidal action to some extent. Reasons for these actions could be as different as the persons themselves.

In my previous company, one of my colleagues was a smoker. His father had died of throat cancer because of excessive smoking. This young guy of twenty-six years was aware of the reason of his father’s illness and subsequent death, still he continued smoking. All advices from the whole world fell on deaf ears. He had responsibilities to carry out. Today, as I write this post, he is a married man and has a small kid. He has continued his smoking, has become a chain smoker now. He and his infant child both cough all the time. He has his old mother, young sister besides his wife and kid to support.
Some people want to smoke and drink knowing very well the risks involved in it. After sometime they realize that this small pleasure has been converted in a non relinquishable habit.

I know of a girl who believes in wafer thin body. She thinks she looks beautiful that way and to achieve that look she is starving herself. She is depriving her body of nutritious food. At present she is not realizing the importance of good strong bones and a healthy body. Being a female she is prone to many health related problems later in life which she is not able to understand now. Also, I don't think men admire very thin, stick like structures to be their companions.

Another genus of human race believe in ‘love’ at first sight, get attracted to someone without knowing the feelings of that other person and then ‘fail’ to succeed in their love. After that failure, start painful heartbreaking nights with drinks and burying in cocoon. Whether it is love or infatuation is not a point of contention. The point is that these emotionally loaded people seek love at a place where it may or may not exist. Luck just doesn’t want to favour them for some more time.
It is good to have a positive attitude towards anything but not at the cost of your own sentiments. I fail to understand why do they play with their own emotions knowing very well that this will lead to nowhere except for giving them more pain and anguish than before and in turn pain to their near and dear ones.

Whatever be the problem, it knocks you down physically as well as emotionally. It doesn’t matter what you become first – an emotional fool or a physical ramshackle in search of that momentary bliss.

And why the hell are we bothered for these people when they themselves do not want to make an effort ? Why do we care for them so much ? Much more than they care for themselves ? Is there any solution to this ?
At times we all are so speechless and helpless.

Current song- Dil Mein Ek Leher Si Uthi Hai Abhi – Ghulam Ali

To All

An Update :- Many readers are still not able to comment on my blog. One simple solution. It works well for me and some other bloggers.
Before commenting please make sure that you are logged-in to blogger with your blogger id. Then proceed to comment.

To All,

Many of you readers who come to my blog have conveyed their inability to comment here due to some problem with Beta blogger especially the ones who don’t have a Beta blogger account.

Some of you have even opened a Beta blogger account solely for this purpose. Thanks for all your efforts. I guess some overhauling of blogger is going on, will find out and update you all.
In the meanwhile you can comment in my Chit Chat box and I’ll paste it on the comments page with your name.

Also, the new members of this gang here... please leave your site link..I am not able to visit your blog. It always says “Profile not available”. So, Jac, Prashanth M, Alok, Anil P, Deepak M, Aditi, Raman and all others who want me to visit their blog.. pls leave your links here.

I have the links of older members.

Thanks once again.

P.S. – Prashanth, I could go to your blog through your other blog.

Current song- I Just Called to Say I Love you - Stevie Wonder

Pawn of Dirty Game

On December 9, Santhi Soudarajan won a silver for India in the women’s 800m run at the Doha Asian Games. On Sunday, the very next day, it was revealed that Santhi is not a woman.

The 25-year-old runner failed a gender test, which was conducted in Doha after the race was over and the test report was sent to the Indian Olympic Association (IOA) by the organizers. Till now the organizers have denied receiving the reports (but till when ?? ).

The report mentions that "Santhi does not possess the sexual characteristics of a women".

This is all the more shocking since the Athletic Federation of India (AFI), which selected ‘Santhi’ (I’ll not mention her or him) for Doha, was aware of the issue. Santhi has been denied employment in Railways on the same ground.

Nevertheless, Santhi continued to manage to find a berth in the Indian contingent for several international events as also for Doha. 'Santhi' had first made headlines after winning a gold in 800m at the inaugural Asian Indoor Games at Pattaya last year.
I am not here to speak about how she rose to this phenomenal success despite of her extreme poverty or how many medals she has won till now. I am not even bothered whether Santhi is a ‘she’ or ‘he’.

Santhi is an unemployed graduate in Business Administration and a MCA. Why is it that Santhi’s classmates or other fellow athletes never raised any doubts about ‘her’ gender ?? In fact, one of the classmates is full of praise for Santhi. And as far as my knowledge of south India (especially rural Tamil Nadu) goes, they are NOT very open with the idea of mixing up with a classmate of opposite sex.

The most baffling aspect is that now people are unaware of Santhi's whereabouts. When contacted, Santhi’s state coach Nagarajan or her fellow athletes said 'Santhi' had not contacted anyone after winning the medal. Nagarajan said, "The news comes as a shock. Santhi has been training with me for the past two and a half years. I never felt that 'Santhi' was a man and such things are very scientific for me to comment on."

Apparently Santhi had “left” Doha before the closure ceremony, stating some family problems. Or was Santhi asked to leave ??
One sports official who was part of the contingent to Doha said, "In Doha everything went off well. But I believe someone leaked the information to the organisers, who then got the athlete tested.".

Now that is another shocking piece of news. What exactly he wanted to convey ?? That if the leakage of such a disastrous information had not taken place they would have continued to field Santhi as a woman ??

That we are part of such a hopeless country of 1,000,000,000 plus where it is hard to find a genuine man or a woman who can represent the country with dignity ??
What were we trying to achieve by sending Santhi as a woman ?? One or two medals ?? Is that all we want ? Don’t we have any dignity, self respect left in us ? How many times more ? How many times ?

Compared to the bigger game being played by our so called saviors of rules and regulations, I don’t blame Santhi at all. The extreme poverty has forced that person to accept some morally wrong things.

Santhi is just a pawn of this entire dirty filthy game.

The whole affair is very shameful, scandalous and immoral.

P.S. – Have lots to blurt out. Expect one more post. If I get time, I’ll definitely write it. :))

Current song- Bahaaron Phool Barsaao, Mera Mehboob Aaya Hai – Md Rafi

For Once...

For once I want to be a man. I admit, I want to be a guy.. just for a day. God, do you hear me? I am missing on life’s some of the most significant, essential and fun-filled pleasures.

When two male friends meet after a while, hug each other tight and say those most envious words ”Saale, kaisa hai tu?”, I die of jealousy then and there. The amount of love oozing out of that debatable word “Saale” is incomparable. At that moment it becomes the most intimate & passionate word in the world. Try replacing it with ‘Buddy, yaar, dost, friend’, the unmatched, unparalleled love loses its intensity instantaneously.

On the other hand, however close we girls are, generally neither we hug each other so tight nor we utter those golden words “Saali, kaisi hai tu?”. Duh !! The entire meaning changes with the change of just an alphabet.

I go green with envy the amount of freedom and closeness these guys enjoy. I want to be a guy and impress that beautiful girl who has recently joined the team and would definitely want to take her out on a date before that Satish does his magic on her.

I also want to have a light fun with friends discussing the vitals of those girls standing near that gate. “Heyy, tell me which one do you like most? That with blue top ? Do you know where does she stay? Arrey yaar, for the last four days I am trying to grab her attention”.

I want to pee wherever I want to, without bothering for a clean toilet, or even a pole. This is one freedom I envy the most. Long road travels and we all know how difficult it is for us females.

Want to race with guys in a car or on a Harley Davidson (what the heck, any damn thing will do) and make the girls freak out in the process as I speed. And then want to put sudden brakes for that added ‘effect’ especially on bike ;). Yaar, how much I love doing that. Last time when I did that with Sanika, she just clung to me for full 30 minutes !! ;)

I want to party, go outdoors, trekking alone, water rafting, sleep half naked in the open, on the car, in the car, have loads of beer & cigarettes as many times as I can. Oh la la ! What a life !

I want to smoke and make smoke rings sitting in a bar, shouting (read discussing) Schumi, Alonso, Federer, Agassi and Sachin.
I once again want to watch that strip dance that I saw last month. Shhhhh my wife doesn’t know about it. Wow, how well that girl danced ! I still remember her beautiful legs. ;) And what a hot babe she was !

Being a girl, I really envy guys when I see them freely roaming around in shorts without even being looked at, but if we follow suite (Hey this one is for not so urban India), all the manly creatures, young and not so young, would have to visit doctors for sprained necks and some for higher anxiety levels as well.

Oh God Oh God, I really want to strip and be only in my boxers or even in my undies (if that is possible). How freely my roomie moves around in those.

Want to be a topless bare-chested guy at the beach mesmerizing girls with my well-built hairy body. God, how do I tell you that it is almost impossible for me not to curse my fate at such times.

Do you really think it is fun to be under a waterfall with full clothes on? Ohh how difficult it is for us girls to be always wrapped up even in scorching heat.

And back home, want to have that inbuilt feature of male community. Yes, you guessed it right God, I want full control over TV remote, shuffling the channels, enjoying the muncheon...
I want to have that most sought after x-box in my hand without giving a damn to this world. We men can’t do without these ‘x’s in our life..x, xx, xxx.

And God, the list goes on..
Oh I want to be a guy, want to be a guy.. Heyy God ! Hope you have not put on your ear plugs today. Oh God listen to my pleas, help me pulleeeeeeease..
For once I want to be a guy...

Current song- summer of ’69 – Bryan Adams

Feminism ??

Two days back as I was discussing something with one of my friends, the topic popped up was feminism and he called me a feminist. I didn’t feel proud or ashamed but at the same time didn’t know how to react to it. It had started with as simple a question as whether after marriage ladies should change their surname or not. When the question was directly thrown at me as what would have I done, I answered in negative and after a few minutes of why’s and why not’s kind of arguments I was called a feminist. :))

A feminist? Am I or am I not? Being a feminist is bad or good? Just because I don’t want to part with my current name, have I become a feminist?

What is feminism after all? I do not know the correct meaning of it and how differently people can interpret it. As far as I know, in simple terms, it is a belief in equality of the sexes.

But then who does not believe in equality of sexes? Don’t you? This is 21^st century and we better ought to make it true. So then, does that mean whoever believes in this equality of genders is a feminist ??

Well, if the meaning restricts only to this then I can gladly announce about my being a feminist which will also cover a whole lot of bigger world. But if this also means unnecessary protests on the roads, blowing out the issues to gain political advantage, unwanted intrusions and harassments to someone’s life with or without intentions, then sorry to say, I am NOT a feminist. I do agree, sometimes these measures are necessary as well, but not always.

Being a feminist, especially a female, does not mean doing exactly opposite of what you are supposed to do in your normal life.. without giving a thought to it.

By not changing my name or surname after my marriage will not make me rebellious as some people would have the opinion. Though I was given a number of ‘advantages’ for doing it, I just don’t think it is going to benefit me anyhow. It is just a matter of choice for me.

First, why do I need to change my name/surname when it belongs to me and I like it very much ?

Just because my mother changed her surname to my father’s or
that is the universal tradition or
that is what ladies are NORMALLY expected to do after their marriage ??
And for so many other or's ?

Then I beg to differ, I want to be abnormal.

After all, it’s my life and it’s my name/ surname and I just do not want to part with it. What’s wrong if I want to keep it? In this free democratic world at least the decision to keep or change my name should reside with me and not with anybody else. Am I asking for the impossible if I say that ? My negative answer to my friend was in this very context. It’s another thing that I would like to get immersed myself in someone, I would love to lose myself in him but then it takes the romantic turn, a matter of heart not mind... hence not in this post. :)

When a child is born, he/she is given a name. And he has to keep it for at least some years whether he likes it or not, at least till the time he is grown enough to rethink and take his decision. But what about us females? Won’t we be allowed to do the same?

When I was seven years old, I wanted to adopt my mother’s maiden surname as my surname. At that age my reason was very simple and apt. The surname was short and I didn’t have to write more on all my notebooks, drawing sheets etc. In fact, I had even started using it and when my teachers came to know after 10-12 days, all were shocked. Them as well as me. I was not allowed to write my new surname and was told very coldly that it is my father’s surname what I must have. Within no time I was branded as undisciplined and intrepid child. No issues there as had I been a boy, same thing would have happened. But back then I had felt terribly bad.

And now after all these years when I have really started loving my name and don’t want to part with it, they all want me to change it ?

Anyways, for me, being feminist forms a bigger canvas than changing names. One doesn’t have to revolt each time he sees something wrong happening. There could be other ways of dealing with the situations. Not painting a very big picture here like raising all those issues and hold processions. I am not the right person to do that. What I always try to do on a very small scale is for satisfaction of my conscience. I’ll narrate two small incidents here. Probably they are irrelevant here but still... sometimes thoughts just flow.

As I said feminism means equality to me. Not only equality but care (support & upliftment automatically follow) for the weaker sex. Yes, I agree, we are THE weaker sex…not mentally but physically. Mentally we are much much more stronger and tougher than our counterparts. Come on, have a heart to admit it !

The first incident has happened many times with me with only faces and characters changing. Once during my college days I was traveling in a bus, was fortunate(??) enough to get a ladies seat. Besides me, there was a gentleman (was he a gentleman?) sitting at window seat. After sometime the bus was packed to its capacity, at next stop, a pregnant lady got into the bus and as luck would have it, seeing a male sitting on a ladies seat she made her way straight to us. The not so gentleman started looking out of the window as if he had not noticed anything. Nothing unusual. The lady asked him once, he didn’t respond. Nothing unusual. Without uttering a word I immediately got up and gave my seat to that lady. Nothing unusual again.

Had I been standing instead of that lady, I wouldn’t have asked the guy to give me the seat even after knowing very well that he was occupying a ladies seat. Yes, when I say I believe in equality of sexes, I mean it. If I consider myself to be equal to a man I should be able to travel like him... standing. The case of pregnant lady was different. She should have been offered the seat irrespective of where she was standing .. near a ladies seat or somewhere else. Tell me how many of us care to do that? How many of us stand and give our seats to the needy ones ? Not talking about the exceptions here.

Thousand of times I have seen men taking a general seat in bus with the quote “Here I am safe, ladies seat se to uthna padega”. Doesn’t that mean that if a needy comes near your seat... even if he happens to be an old man, you are going to do the same what that guy did ? And on top of that you gentlemen grumble over petty matters like ladies occupying a general seat !

I believe the reservations should always be for the needy and not for any gender or caste. (Don’t expect any post on reservations now ;) )

Second incident is around two years old. I was traveling by Rajdhani Express ..from Delhi to Mumbai. As always, I was traveling alone. I never ask anyone to drop me or pick me up. It’s not a question of arrogance but I have made myself capable of doing things on my own.

I had the lower berth in 2 tier AC and there was an old Gujju widow around 65 years old with the upper berth allotted to her !! All other passengers including the occupants of side berths were males, all between 22 to 40 years.
She was visiting from her one son in Delhi to another in Mumbai. When the train had started moving, general chat session started, she after sometime mentioned how difficult it would be for her to climb up and before she even completed her first sentence I had offered her my berth. No one, I repeat, no one from those educated, cultured four gentlemen of this generation, who till now were listening to her wanted to do that. It is such a shame for all of us.

Later I came to know that she had been asked by her Mumbai son to alight at Borivali station where the train stops only for 2 minutes. I was wondering how she’s going to make it with 13 pieces of luggage !! And what if her son was a bit late and didn’t turn up at the station. Again, she looked at me and like a fool (am I ??) I started moving her luggage near the door. No one from our so called superior sex offered any help. They had immediately made themselves busy by reading book or some other thing.
I was even prepared to get down at Borivali in case her son doesn’t turn up. Fortunately I didn’t have to do that.

I sometimes (well, most of the times) wonder why this male community behaves like this. Why her son at Delhi didn’t make sure before the start of journey that she gets a lower berth? Why the Mumbai son asked her to get down at Borivali station knowing her age, her luggage and her traveling alone ? Why other people didn’t offer any help ? Why people always expect others to lend a helping hand?

It is always assumed that we, females are going to support you, come what may, for all your good or bad deeds so can’t we expect something in return when we are really helpless physically ? Don't you think we deserve a better treatment than this ??

When a help is needed, it is needed. Period.

Gentlemen, we, the weaker sex need your support, your help in the same manner as we support you all through your life for all your needs without you even asking for it.

Current song- Piya Baawree – Ajay Pohankar

Fabio Cannavaro

So Italian defender Fabio Cannavaro has won the prestigious Ballon d'Or (also known as Golden Ball) award for being Europe's top player. Well, in my opinion there were many other players like Henry, Ronaldinho, Totti, Buffon and my favourite Zizou alias Zinedine Zidane who deserved this award more than him.

Without going into why’s and how’s here, I come to the point... my area of curiosity, what actually caught my attention. ;)

Do you know why this guy is all smiles?

Look at the pictures below.

Cannavaro receives award from Italian actress Monica Belluci.
Bravo !! Claps ! So far so good.


But heyy what is she doing? Pulling that guy to award him something more? I know baldies are hotties these days but... and look at him, he has both yes and no on his face.


Oh la la !! I never knew getting top award is so much fun! He’s pleasantly surprised to get this one. Watch out!! Don't drop your trophy !


I know what you are expecting next, but sorry, this picture has been censored.


Look at him now. Shyly kissing the Golden Ball but dreaming of the evening ahead.

Question dancing in my innocent top floor:- Are all Mona / Monica’s alike? From Mona darling to Monica .. Go figure…

Current song- Phir Ud Chala Main Dekho Badalon ke Sang – Pankaj Awasthi

Neighbourly Introduction

A little conversation in lift between me and my Elderly Newly Neighbourly Aunty (ENNA). Her, after a stroll in the garden and poor me with a handbag, a thick book from library and a laptop.

Me – Hello aunty.
ENNA – Hello beta. Are you coming from your office?

Me (thinking) – No, coming from swimming pool. Grrrr..
Me (speaking with a big smile) – Yes, aunty.

ENNA (Looking at my laptop) – Where do you work?
Me (thinking, patting the laptop) – Just told you, swimming pool. Laptops behave at their best near water.
Me (speaking) – My office is in *******.

ENNA – What do you work as?
Me – I am a computer professional.
ENNA – Oh good, so you can repair our computer ! It isn’t working since last two months. Are you free this Sunday? I’ll ask my husband to be at home.

All in one breath?? No wonder she does those yogic breathing exercises. I must learn this art from her.

Me – No no. I am not a hardware person.

The lift stops at her floor. I remind her. She slowly opens the door but continues without stepping out.

ENNA – What is that, what person?
Me – I mean, I can not repair your PC. You’ll have to call someone from that computer shop.
ENNA – My maid’s son is working in the same shop. He did some computer course for Rs 6000 after his 10^th standard. You also did the same?
Me – No.

I remind her again of nagging sound the lift is making. She steps out but holds the door, doesn’t let me close it.

ENNA – But you just said you work on computers.
Me – Yeah, but I don’t repair computers. I am a software professional.

ENNA giving me strange look, looking at me from head to toe. I also look at myself, from head to toe.

Me (Thinking) Did I say something wrong? Like errr.. “softwear” professional?

I look lost as how to make her understand.

ENNA (trying to give another example) – Ok, like my niece? She did something in web, html.
Me - Yes, but no, I mean errr.. actually my job is different. It’s something like errr... your niece is a skin specialist and I am cardiologist.

I look at her curiously. She stares at me questionably.

Me – Well, it is like we can not ask a gyneacologist to do a bypass surgery though both are doctors.

Thanks to someone who shouts for the lift. I get in and close the door.

Me- Ok, bye aunty.
ENNA – Bye.

Sometimes it is very difficult to explain to people what you do exactly.

Current song- Mere Saamne Wali Khidki Mein Ek Chand Ka Tukda Rehta Hai – Kishore

Symptoms of a foreign returned

One of my distant friends is coming back from abroad. This is what is expected of him by his family and friends for some initial months. Needless to say, I also do some of these but more as a habit since childhood and not because I come back from a foreign land.

- Will drink and carry mineral water and always speak of health consciousness.

- Will sneeze and say 'Excuse me'. (I always do that since my childhood)

- Will say "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".
say "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
say "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
say "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
say "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
And many more..

- Will not forget to crib about air pollution and any other type of pollution.

- Will look for a dustbin everywhere to throw candy wrappers etc. & if not found will keep in pocket till he gets one. (This is typical me, so cleanliness freak I am )

- Unknowingly will try to figure all the prices in Forex and utter “Ah ! so cheap.”
- Will try to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet.
- Will crib about Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

- Will look for a zebra crossing. (Me again. Zebra crossings are so rare in Mumbai)

- Will avoid eating more chilli (hot) stuff.
- Will try to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
- Will try to complain about any thing in India as if experiencing it for the first time.
- Will pronounce "schedule" as "skejule", "module" as "mojule" , "today" as "to die" and some more depending on where he is coming from.

- Will say “Thank you” even to vegetable vendor. (Typical me. Sometimes I wonder how pointlessly well mannered I am) ;) lollll

Have you or anyone known to you faced such foreign returned symptoms ?

Current song- Kahin Door Jab Din Dhal Jaaye – Mukesh

Do I Care ??

Do I really need to care as long as YOU care ??

Current song- In the End – Linkin Park

Questions Society

Tears of Joy-II

Don’t be so happy. It is not a sequel to Tears of Joy but only a post script.

First, I must thank all of you for your valuable opinions on the post. Many commenters praised my writing skills, it looked very real to them as if it was my own story. I am delighted about that. That day, as my thoughts and emotions flowed, I wrote the post without changing anything, not even the sequence and to tell you a little secret.. I was crying at the time of writing it. So, full of emotions I was and so close it is to my heart.

Some of the commenters have started liking the girl “Tum” and want her to be their friend while two of you are even ready to hit the guy “Hum” if he misbehaves with “Tum”. Lollll I am glad that I could make you guys so attached to the whole affair.

By now you would have guessed that I have decided to call the two characters as ‘Hum’ & ‘Tum’ .. inspired by Pyare Mohan ji.

According to some people...(well, most of them) who have commented on the post, it is NOT at all friendship, it is a clear case of love between the two while very few were of the opinion that it is nothing but a clean friendship.

Some thought it could be a friendship but an amount of love between them is definitely there which is going to blossom over the period of time. Request you to go through ALL the comments if time permits.

One commenter suggested that they should meet to keep the friendship alive or to survive while another suggested to Hum & Tum, the idea of discussing about the pros & cons of this relationship before it becomes another love story.

Now, since the existence of such friendship is agreed upon, the question “Can it survive for long as it stands today or is it just a matter of a few months when we all can call it “all over” ?” needs your attention.

Maverick and Kamal have already put in their views on this aspect.

Remember the girl has some doubts, some unanswered questions troubling her?? She wants to know whether she is also Hum’s best friend or not. She wants to know whether both of them are going to remain like the way they are at present or will come even more closer or drift apart. Are they going to change with time.. time just flying away ?

Do you think she is right to have those fears? What if all is true? Is she going to behave in the same manner as before? She must have had reasons to think in that direction. Who is going to answer her questions?

Opinions awaited eagerly..

Current song- Katra Katra Milti Hai, Katra Katra Jeene Do – Asha Bhosale

Tears of Joy

She hurriedly entered the ladies first-class compartment. It was a slow train from Churchgate, would take around an hour’s time to reach her place but today she did not bother. On other days she would have worried and grumbled a bit for getting a slow train. But today was different, today was special. She was smiling all the time. She sat near the window in front of a middle aged lady and made herself comfortable. Inside the compartment there were hardly any ladies at that hour. It was almost empty.

She seemed in a hurry today. She was visibly happy and smiling. There was something going on her mind. Yesterday night was very special for her. Why only night? It was well over 3:30 am when she could finally take a nap and she was up again at 5:30 am!! She glanced outside the window and took charge of her mobile phone. Forty seven messages from a single person !! Once again she started reading them one by one. They were all sent between 11 pm last night till 2:15 this morning, within a span of 3 hours. She smiled again. They were from a person who is very close to her heart...her BEST friend, ever.

She was never so close to any person in her life. They both have too many things in common.. their likings, their taste, their thoughts. They live eight kms away from each other and their office is just 1.5 kms apart. Both of them are very emotional, lonely, reserved. They have shared many secrets and thoughts of life with each other. Both have plenty of pictures of each other on their computers. Both of them have cried many times for each other. Probably they can’t see each other in pain. Every time he has hurt her because of some reason, within a minute she has received a sms from him saying sorry. They both love each other in a strange way. There is a special comfort zone between them and the trust ? Trust between them has no limits.

Their friendship is not even a year old, it is just ten months! If she has something to share with, the first person comes to her mind is him and she always misses him. Time spent with him is never enough. Not a single day passes when she doesn’t think of him with a smile. And in somewhat similar way, she is the only person he has shared his some of the most inner thoughts with. They savor each other’s company.

She had helped him in her own little way when he was looking for a change of job and she was the first person to know about his interview calls, appointment and so on. She was away from the city when she had received his message of new job. All the dates are still etched in her mind. Those were the days when he was very much tensed and so was she.

On his birthday, she sent a book to him, her favourite one and she knew he would equally like it. Now, the next birthday is approaching fast, she has started wondering what to present him this year. Probably a book again ? Books are never going to be a problem between them.

On other days they normally exchange a few sms’s, only when one of them wants to share some info or ask for help. Yesterday also, it had started on the same note. But after 3-4 sms’s, she could guess his happiness. He seemed extremely happy. :)))

Now, it was around 11 at night. All family members at her place had gone off to sleep and she was trying to concentrate on some pending work she had. She asked him if he doesn’t want to sleep tonight or again he is reading his unfinished novel. He replied “Nothing of that sort today”. He was just too happy and listening to songs on his i-pod. She knew the songs were her favourite as well.

Then came a message: he was listening to “Katra-katra milti hai, Katra Katra Jeene Do” ..one of their favourites. She immediately messaged back, “I want to listen it too!”. Not even ten seconds later there she was, sitting, smiling, listening to the song on her cell phone. He was playing the songs at his end... she was listening to them. And thus started three most beautiful, wonderful hours of romantic melodious songs.

“Aapki ki aankhon mein kuch mehke hue se Raaz hain”, “Mere Dil Mein Aaj Kya Hai Tu Kahe to Main bata Doon”, “RimZhim gire sawan, sulag-sulag jaaye man”, “Humein Tumse pyar kitna, ye hum nahi jaante”, “Phir wohi raat hai”, “Aie kaash ki ab hosh mein” and so on.. none of the songs was repeated.

They were both extremely happy - alone and yet together. Their joy had no boundaries. Neither of the two was sleepy at all. In between they kept sending messages to each other. He wanted to share his happiness with her. Initially he started humming the songs at his end, she could listen to it. She knew he wanted to sing aloud. She asked him to do so. As he lives alone in his flat, it was not difficult. So, he started to sing ... The voice was coming right from his heart.. Dil se. He was dreaming about his future... getting married and settling down soon. He was in full romantic mood. She could “see” that. How well she understands him.

Once he coughed, she got tensed.. asked him why? Since he smokes occasionally, she was worried about his health.

The night was beautiful, awesome, and quiet. The songs kept coming ... one by one.. all romantic ones that they both love... him, singing along and her listening and smiling. They didn’t feel like speaking to each other. There was no need. The words were not needed there, only emotions were flowing and they could feel it. They could feel the presence of each other, they were together in that special moment. Just the songs through cell phone, him singing and series of sms’s without a single spoken word of communication.. it was all so wonderful.

This was the best night she had ever experienced, thanks to her friend. Then at 12:41 AM, he told her why he was so happy that day, “I am in love” a sms conveyed it all. Now, sitting in the train she checked the sms again. Yes, it had come at 12:41 AM. And then in next four sms's he told her about a girl. Once again she was the first and till now his only friend to know about his feelings. Probably she is also his best female friend?? Probably not ? She doesn’t know. She tried to brush aside this thought.

She was happy for him. She felt like holding his hands and telling him how happy she was.

Their beautiful and amazing friendship is unique in many ways. They both know they can reach each other at any hour of the day. What if till now they have not been able to meet even once in real life? What if they have not spoken to each other even once except for 2-3 minutes on one occasion? They share each other's joys and sorrows, they share each other's problems and seek advice and they feel each other's presence in their life.

She hopes to meet him one day and it is going to be a wonderful day... the happiest day. That very thought of meeting him brought tears in her eyes. The lady sitting in front of her was watching her smile all this while and now suddenly tears??

Without wiping those tears off she said “They are tears of joy” and she let them flow.

Do you think there can exist such friendship in this world ?
Could it be true or could they be just faux-amies? Could it become the most beautiful friendship one can ever think of or could it be termed as most unrealistic, unheard kind of imagination ?

Current song- Aapki Aankhon Mein Kuch Mehke Hue Se Khwab Hain – Kishore & Lata

Are we bold enough?

Are we bold? Are we bold enough to admit things? To accept things? To refuse things? There are many actions that we do without realizing or without giving it a thought.

Boy meets girl. They like each other and start going out. After sometime boy wants to go one step ahead. Girl wants to refuse but.. but thinks she would hurt him, lose him if she does so. She succumbs to his demands. Later, she regrets. What went wrong here? And why?

A boy joined medical college. Ragged by seniors in front of all to the limits of humiliation. Next step? He committed suicide.

How many of us would stand up and oppose that ragging? Or fight with a bunch of hooligans on a lonely road? Or stand by a rape victim? Or stop that drunkard who is beating his heavily pregnant wife right in the middle of the road?

Most of the times we just close our eyes like a cat or an ostrich .. pretending that everything is normal. We should mind our own business. Nothing has happened and nothing unusual is going to happen. Why do we do so ? What is stopping us?

Are we bold enough to accept the existence of homosexuals or the living-in relationship especially in not so urban India? Are we ready to happily accept unwed mothers ?

Are we courageous enough to refuse our senior when he commands us to be a part of corrupt system? And are we bold enough to stand and yell at this damn rotten world, “Enough is Enough!!”?

We expect everyone else to be bold and gutsy: not us.

And when that someone else is courageous enough to take a daring step, we somehow want to follow his shadow because we know he is right and by following him we might gain something which we always wanted to, but never had the courage to ask for or fight for.

Yes, I said follow his shadow. We don’t want to walk beside him lest we might face the wrath along with him. More than cowards, we are scared. Scared to face the consequences, scared to face the ire of society, scared to face the world.

We think of others first. What my boyfriend, my family, my friends, my society will think about it if I listen to my inner soul and do things differently ? Do I have the guts to lose them or face them? So, we try to be a part of masses and keep suffering. As long as someone else tries to change the scenario, it is fine with us. After all, if at all things change, we are also going to be benefited.

Perhaps, we are selfish somewhere.

I don’t believe in the saying “If you can’t beat them, join them”. NO. I won’t join them. I would prefer to stand alone far away from the crowd even if I am not doing anything.

I am sorry if my views are too strong or raw for you but... Ok, will try to make the topic more lighter.

Well, we all have some fantasies about many things in life, which we dare not discuss with others.. maybe, sometimes with our very close friends who also have similar inclination but definitely not with our elders. But can we accept it?

Tell me, how many of you have watched or have thought of watching a porn movie sometime in life? Or don’t get taken aback when you see a seventeen year old buying condoms from a chemist shop? Or have you never wondered how a prostitute or a strip dancer undresses in front of strangers without even a blink of shyness ?

It is not possible and it should not be, that we always accept in front of this world. World.. society.. families.. close friends and finally our own self. The big large sphere reduces to a single central point. Can we be true to that single point at least?

To me, that seventeen year old who bought condoms is more truthful and honest to himself and to the world than most of us. And yes, he was bold enough to go to the shop.

Wanted to recount something about my college days but decided against it, as it was becoming very lengthy post. Some other time or maybe a post script to it. :)

There are many dark secrets in our lives, which we would want to keep under covers. We always try to pretend to be all goodie-goodie persons. And of course we are so!! Just because we have those forbidden thoughts or desires, we do not become bad persons. Just because we peeped at other pretty girls over the shoulder of our wives, we do not become unfaithful husbands. But Alas !! It stops there.

If any of my family members read this post, they won’t be shocked. They don’t know about any of my fantasies but they accept that their own Cuckoo can also have some.

Yes, even I have those so-called forbidden inclinations. Being a female doesn’t make me any different. I would definitely want to watch a porn movie sometime in my life..never seen, only heard about them and I am bold enough to admit about my this fantasy. Are you?

Current song- Pal Pal Pal Har Pal, Kaise Katega Har Pal – Sonu & Shreya

Back with a Tag !

I am tagged again!! Tagged by a person who loves to tag me again & again since my days of naissance in this blogworld and once again I accepted the challenge. Here I am, taking time out of my busy schedule, trying to tell you a bit about myself. Well, I have both positive & negative traits in me as you’d know now but that’s the way I am. Here I go...

Rules of this tag:

1. Name the person who tagged you.
2. 8 things about you.
3. Tag 6 people.

Question 1: Are you really interested in knowing the name after so many hints? It is none other than Fleiger, the Tagger of the century.

Question 2:
Now this is the most interesting part !! Oh come on!! Not fair. Only 8 points? It is something like you have been asked to describe only 2 points in your exams when you are ready to bombard them with all you learnt by rote ! Just kidding!! Wondering where do I start from. Being a very private, quiet and introvert person in real life, it’s like a challenge for me to speak about myself. Ok, let me try.

1. I am a straight forward, sincere and a level headed girl. I just can’t have anything fake about me or things related to me. Not even my posts on this blog. They have to connect to me in one-way or the other. I like being true, true to myself and to the world. Life is not a pack of cards or a blue sky for me. I take it seriously. But that does not mean I don’t laugh and keep crying all the time. I make others laugh and cry as well ;)

Most of the time I am a serious quiet person but that little funny bone got stuck somewhere in me (kabab mein haddi??) and from time to time it starts showing its true colours especially when I am in mood or in the company of people who can really make me laugh. In short, I am a strange mix of contrasts.

2. I am neither a writer/poet nor I want to become one. Was inspired by a very dear friend, whom I adore endlessly (Hey you!! Are you reading this?). No, the friend never asked me to write, I just got inspired by the sheer presence of my friend whom I had started missing.. Complicated?? Leave it at that.

3. Being on constant move & uprooted, I have dearth of close friends. As I am very reserved person, it takes a lot of time & effort for me (and for the other person) to make genuine close friend but once friends, I go extra mile for the person I care for. The people who know me, will agree to all of it. I am fully aware of this negative side of me. But that’s the way I am.

4. I love music. Music soothes me and makes me forget the whole damn world.. Soft melodious songs, ghazals, fusion, instrumentals, nursery rhymes are some of the kind of music I can listen to anytime. 88% of my songs are Hindi. Rest includes English, Marathi, French, Bengali (only S D Burman folk songs) & some Punjabi songs.

Not a particular singer or album but anything which suits my mood. My all time favourites are Kishore Kumar, Asha Bhosale, Jagjit Singh, Ghulam Ali. Waittt, that doesn’t mean I like only soft music.. I am equally at comfort with blaring music when I am on a long drive (happens rarely though). Told you.. strange mix of contrasts.

5. I am a very organized person. Never you will find me, my place, my clothes, my mailboxes in clutters. I like my neighbourhood spick and span. That’s again a negative point.. sometimes I overdo it and wonder why others can’t be like me.

6. I have excellent memory chip fitted into me, have my own database and once registered there, people are sure to get wishes on their birthdays/ anniversaries and all the information when needed.

At home when people don’t find their belongings, they come running to me “Do you know where I kept that thing?” and Cuckoo knows exactly what do they mean by “that” and where it is kept.

7. I am not a regular movie goer mainly for three reasons.. lack of interest, lack of company and lack of good movies. I can add one more.. my erratic daily schedule (for last six months I have been extremely busy). I do watch them if I have time or the movie is recommended as good. Believe in quality not quantity. Can watch any good movie even if they are of an era when even my mom was not born ! Is that a negative point? If so, then be it.

8. Reading is another passion I enjoy. Mostly thrillers and some other interesting ones. But no Harry Potters for me. Thrillers started from my father’s collection and ended (my last book) with Robin Cook’s Coma. Not getting time to start another one. But I cannot read the same book for more than 3-4 times. Someone told me he has read Godfather 17 times! Phew!

I am also a fan of Tintin, Archie and Garfield. Tom & Jerry is my favourite cartoon show and I can watch it again & again & again for my whole life. Coyote & Road Runner, Charlie Chaplin, Laurel Hardy are some other in the list. BTW, just watched a DVD on Asterix yesterday.

9. Unlike general belief about girls, I am extremely good at keeping secrets between friends or otherwise and people who have confided anything in me know that their secrets are going to remain within me till my end.

10. I have a sweet tooth, love sweets in any form. Sweets, ice creams, chocolates. Ummm delicious .. But chocolates should only be in the form of chocolates, favourite being Swiss Lindt. Can’t have chocolate flavoured milk, chocolate ice-cream, chocolate burfi etc.

Ohh I shot up by two points but I think that is excusable. Or is negative marking applicable here too? No worries, Cuckoo is charmingly chilled, almost iced person and seldom gets angry. :)

Question 3:
And this is where I need to think now. I have very few regular visitors to my blog and either most of them have done this tag or the tagger has tagged them.

So, I am left with very little choice and after thinking for a while I am tagging the following persons and leaving free for others to pick up the tag.

1. Abhi (You are my first victim, my lovely shikaar. Can’t let you go, would like to see more of you)
2. Maverick (Now that your exams are over, you can attempt it)
3. Mridula (Don’t worry, take your time, maybe after December but we would like to know more about you)
4. Sigma (Sorry, I don’t have much choice here. But I want you to do it)
5. Sunil (I am sure you’d like to go for it)
6. Tarun (How can I leave you behind?)

Bendtherulz, Mayank & Priyam... you all are lucky this time. You don’t have blogs.

Ketan, Sameer, Deepak, Hazel Dream, Bharat, Alka and others. Pick this up if you want to.

Sameer - (would have liked to tag you but it won’t go with your blog, so leaving the option to you)

Leaving SiD’s all friends so that he can tag them !! But on second thoughts, I could have had Bharat at least!

NOTE – Make this tag as your next post (Mridula is excused, she can have more time).
After doing the tag please leave a comment here so that I can visit you. Please don’t make me wait till eternity. I have some more tags waiting for you !!. Kidding, ok?

NOTE – Now, No More Tags for me. Grrrrrrrr...

Update on the post..

Mridula, Maverick & Sigma have done their tags, Sunil has been excused since he has already done it before (my mistake to tag him).
Tarun has taken a sabbatical at present but has promised to do it as his next post.
Abhi ?? No news :(( Perhaps he is also going to take some more time.
Sameer has shown interest so probably.... :))

Current song- Abhi Na Jao Chodkar ki Dil Abhi Bhara Nahi – Md Rafi & Asha