Wednesday, December 13, 2006

For Once...

For once I want to be a man. I admit, I want to be a guy.. just for a day. God, do you hear me? I am missing on life’s some of the most significant, essential and fun-filled pleasures.

When two male friends meet after a while, hug each other tight and say those most envious words ”Saale, kaisa hai tu?”, I die of jealousy then and there. The amount of love oozing out of that debatable word “Saale” is incomparable. At that moment it becomes the most intimate & passionate word in the world. Try replacing it with ‘Buddy, yaar, dost, friend’, the unmatched, unparalleled love loses its intensity instantaneously.

On the other hand, however close we girls are, generally neither we hug each other so tight nor we utter those golden words “Saali, kaisi hai tu?”. Duh !! The entire meaning changes with the change of just an alphabet.

I go green with envy the amount of freedom and closeness these guys enjoy. I want to be a guy and impress that beautiful girl who has recently joined the team and would definitely want to take her out on a date before that Satish does his magic on her.

I also want to have a light fun with friends discussing the vitals of those girls standing near that gate. “Heyy, tell me which one do you like most? That with blue top ? Do you know where does she stay? Arrey yaar, for the last four days I am trying to grab her attention”.

I want to pee wherever I want to, without bothering for a clean toilet, or even a pole. This is one freedom I envy the most. Long road travels and we all know how difficult it is for us females.

Want to race with guys in a car or on a Harley Davidson (what the heck, any damn thing will do) and make the girls freak out in the process as I speed. And then want to put sudden brakes for that added ‘effect’ especially on bike ;). Yaar, how much I love doing that. Last time when I did that with Sanika, she just clung to me for full 30 minutes !! ;)

I want to party, go outdoors, trekking alone, water rafting, sleep half naked in the open, on the car, in the car, have loads of beer & cigarettes as many times as I can. Oh la la ! What a life !

I want to smoke and make smoke rings sitting in a bar, shouting (read discussing) Schumi, Alonso, Federer, Agassi and Sachin.
I once again want to watch that strip dance that I saw last month. Shhhhh my wife doesn’t know about it. Wow, how well that girl danced ! I still remember her beautiful legs. ;) And what a hot babe she was !

Being a girl, I really envy guys when I see them freely roaming around in shorts without even being looked at, but if we follow suite (Hey this one is for not so urban India), all the manly creatures, young and not so young, would have to visit doctors for sprained necks and some for higher anxiety levels as well.

Oh God Oh God, I really want to strip and be only in my boxers or even in my undies (if that is possible). How freely my roomie moves around in those.

Want to be a topless bare-chested guy at the beach mesmerizing girls with my well-built hairy body. God, how do I tell you that it is almost impossible for me not to curse my fate at such times.

Do you really think it is fun to be under a waterfall with full clothes on? Ohh how difficult it is for us girls to be always wrapped up even in scorching heat.

And back home, want to have that inbuilt feature of male community. Yes, you guessed it right God, I want full control over TV remote, shuffling the channels, enjoying the muncheon...
I want to have that most sought after x-box in my hand without giving a damn to this world. We men can’t do without these ‘x’s in our life..x, xx, xxx.

And God, the list goes on..
Oh I want to be a guy, want to be a guy.. Heyy God ! Hope you have not put on your ear plugs today. Oh God listen to my pleas, help me pulleeeeeeease..
For once I want to be a guy...

Current song- summer of ’69 – Bryan Adams

45 comments:

Tarun said...

hmm interesting, so I missed that saale part. This ur list of desire looks quite long...heheh.

In second thought for the first thing, u don't need to be a man. When you meet me do same, I mean hug me tight and say those most envious words ”Saale, kaisa hai tu?” ;)

Deepak said...

They say the grass is greener on the other side. Believe me, you dont really want to be a guy :)

Cuckoo said...

Tarun,
Heyyy After a long time !! Glad to see you again ! Hope you are more free now to roam around the blogs!

When you meet me do same, I mean hug me tight and say those most envious words ”Saale, kaisa hai tu?" Ha Ha Ha... ROFL.. I liked your sense of humour ;) Hope your wife likes it as well ;)

Thanks for your visit. Make it more frequent. :)

Deepak,
You too Deepak, after a longggg time !! Glad to see you here again !

Well, I said only for a day! There is a saying in Hindi. With no offences to my dear dear male friends I'll quote here "Time padne par gadhe ko bhi baap banana padta hai" :P

Thanks for your visit. Make it more frequent. :)

Good to see you both !! People in US have become more free now. :))))

Gangadhar said...

haha..humourous post from ur side..
And cuckoo,i met a girl of this kind loong back..during my engineering..she's my classmate,of course..She always wanted to become a man..as u said for at least one day..It's impossible,nah..so she used to be in the attire of tomboyish kind...
And yeah..some girls feel like this..but i don't think not sooo many boys feel like to become a girl?! May be becos i dint come across..meeting those fellows?

PM said...

pretty humorous... and grass is greener on the other side :)

Cuckoo said...

Gangadhar,
lolll... But no tomboyish attire for me. I am very much proud of my feminine looks. See my picture here, how content I am looking. :))

but i don't think not sooo many boys feel like to become a girl?.. LOlll.. You all guys are spoilt brats !! I know, you can't afford to become a girl even for an hour ! Not even your Aarush will do that.

PM,
Welcome to my blog. Are you the same Pyare Mohan?? I don't think so. Your profile is not available.
Anyways, hope you liked the blog.

grass is greener on the other side.. Yes, yes,, for a change I wanted to taste that green grass. :P

Thanks for your visit. Keep coming. :))

Prashanth said...

PM != pyare mohan. Its same old Prashanth. :)

Donno its automatically taking my google display name. I'm not able to change to my blog id!! strange... so posting with other option...

Cuckoo said...

Prashanth,
Ohh so it's you !! Are you sure it's google problem and you are not inspired by my previous post to change names ?? Ha Ha... kidding ok?

Keep coming. :))

jac said...

Hilarious !!

Could we exchange places ?

I do need to find out certain things in that role... like men doing summersaults just to catch my eye, or hearing sweeter than the sweetest names.

Pyare Mohan said...

Hmmm...
Unfortunately, your Y chromosome ditched you long before you even knew about it!
:-)

Ketan said...

hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee

Cuckoo said...

Jac,
Exchange places?? Are you sure you want to join our team? ;)

Ha Ha.. I had veryyyyy long list to say but somehow curtailed (and edited) writing a long post again.

PM,
Here comes the real PM !! Yes, that’s true but I don’t have any regrets, instead am proud to be adorned by an X… Sometimes it just happens that I get jealous of you guys. Human nature after all. ;)

Ketan,
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ;)

SiD said...

wow!!! great one... u r correct that those words "saale kaisa hai be" really infuse a certain warmth and closeness...
I guess, surrounded by boys(on ur blog) has taught u much abt boys..

ur blog tells us many things which we boys may not realize in our daily lives. and I am really glad that I am male... i'd hate to be a female(no offense intended)

as u said, girls never do a "saali. kaisee hai tu".. so in many ways girls and boys are different inherently... so i wud again say, instead of waiting to be helped, ask for it from a guy..;) (referring to my comment on ur previous post)

kamal said...

ha ha ha.. I am still laughing... that was too good a post...

well if I reply to each of your boy-list it will be well another blog....

as far as smoking, drinking and watching strip dance is concerned, you can still do that (although the former 2 will do fine in India) but we have a prob if you want to do these things as a guy and none else...

and as far as checking out or being looked at is concerned even boys "face" that but I think we all enjoy it and pass the buck back but sadly return expressions don't convey the same!!

Anonymous said...

Hey cuckoo nice blog.But no one other than God can help you with this.But who know may be boys think the same way ,for girls and want to become a girl once in a while.
What's wrong ,looks like u have switched to beta blog.I am sharda and Your blog is not accepting my comment so I have to post it as an anonymous

Cuckoo said...

SiD,
Picture change again?? Oh yes, I know you all are too proud to be a male. Lolll.. Yeah, many things you won’t even realize on daily basis, what all freedom you guys have got.

Well, my list was very long but I wanted a smaller post this time. Will post to the God directly. ;)

instead of waiting to be helped, ask for it from a guy..;) (referring to my comment on ur previous post).. Why go to prev post?? Read the very first comment here by Tarun and my reply to him !!

KT,
Welcome. Good that you liked it. So what if it becomes a blog? Just shoot them. :))

smoking, drinking will do fine in India.. No, it’s no fun for females. Can we go home late after that & tell our husbands that it’s normal..will happen twice a week? Tum bachchon ko khilake, khana khake so jao. Here, in this post I am talking about having the similar amount of freedom you guys enjoy. It can not happen anywhere and in same intensity.

even boys "face" that... Really?? I don’t think so. Who stares at you when you go out to nearby shop for ciggi in shorts ? No one. Instead people will stare at you if you are fully clothed on a beach or under a waterfall. Ha Ha Ha.. at least I'll stare at you ;)

Cuckoo said...

Sharda,
Welcome again to my blog. After quite a long time, right? Till now, you are the sole female commenter here.

But who know may be boys think the same way and want to become a girl once in a while...No, they don't want to take that risk as you can read above !! They are all behaving like darpok chickens :P

Your blog is not accepting my comment..Well, you are not the only one facing this problem. I had shifted to beta blog long time back, even before you started coming to my blog. Perhaps now Beta blogger wants you to shift as well !!

Alok said...

We men can’t do without these ‘x’s in our life..x, xx, xxx.

as i was reading through, was wondering if u misssssed this one :)..pretty damn goood !!!!

Cuckoo said...

Alok,
Welcome to my blog. Thanks for liking it. How you tumbled down here? Hmmm..I can see your blog is not for public display?

Ohh so do you think I didn't miss out anything ?? There were quite a few more. ;) Thanks. It feels nice when appreciation comes from you guys. :))

Thanks for your visit, keep coming.

kamal said...

I agree that boyz and gals don't enjoy the same freedom when it comes to drinking...

even boyz face that
I think even girls check out boyz... and discuss among themselves who is HOT and who is NOT... just that they don't stare as hard....

but anyways the girls always have the society's sympathy.... something that men lack completely... if man shouts at a woman in public they say man is one big bastard but if reverse they say.... he must have done something....

Pyare Mohan said...

the X-FACTOR! now i know what that means!

Its interesting people want to switch places... reminded me of Bobby Darling! :-)

Cuckoo said...

Kamal,
even girls check out boys and discuss among themselves who is HOT and who is NOT...Oh oh ..yes, ONLY GIRLS check out you….yahan to line lag jati hai. Like..

Boys- don’t ask… what all they can do. ;)
Not so boys – They are not far behind boys... can cite their experiences
Girls – Even girls stare at those girls with killing nazar
Old women – even grannies stare saying “kya zamana aa gaya hai” .
Tell me does it happen with you guys? Lollllll

the girls always have the society's sympathy… Let girls also have something to cheer them up !! Why do you want to have evrything? :P

PM,
the X-FACTOR!.. Keep coming, you’ll know many more new things. ;)

Ha Ha.. @Bobby Darling

Pyare Mohan said...

I am regular in my attendance teacher! ;-p

Bendtherulz said...

Alive and kicking....!

I think you would be a fun partner be a girl or a guy !!

So let all your blogger friends know when you want to send the "Joint petition" to God for this change over....!

And do you know why Guys don't want to be Girl even for a day.....hmmmm...okie doks...will send the joke in my next comment !!

Aditi said...

well written.. that is quite a list u got going there but i think the only thing i really envy is the peeing and maybe no one staring at them in shorts...
i dispute the fact that girls dont hug as much i think they do..
oh and yea i am the same aditi.. just use a different account for beta bloggers and regular bloggers (where my blog is)

mathew said...

Lol!!!..lofty dreams........hahahaha..

we are a privileged lot..

Cuckoo said...

PM,
You are a good boy !! Keep it up and teach some to other students also.

BendTheRulz,
Where have you been? Again to some trip or just lazing around in winters?

Me and funny ?? Ha Ha.. two extremes and I was damn serious when I wrote this post ;) Does it look funny ??... *scratching my head* Oh no !! I wanted it to be a serious one . :((

will send the joke in my next comment…There is a saying in Hindi “Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab”. So shoot it now.

Cuckoo said...

Aditi,
Welcome to my blog. You are the second female commenter here. I was a bit scared surrounded by these privileged brats !! Oooops hope no one reads this comment.

i dispute the fact that girls dont hug as much i think they do... Do they ?? Well, I don’t agree. On the other hand, the boys don’t look for any reason... they just want to hug someone ;)
Thanks for your visit. Come again.

Mathew,
Welcome again. Yes yes, you are the privileged ones. I wanted to enjoy that for a single day. But God is very busy I guess. :(((

Arz000n said...

I want to pee wherever I want to,
Yup....thts one of the fun part of being a guy....infact the only good point I believe.

I've mastered the skill of writing my own name while peeing on a wall :)

It takes time....and lotsa patience...and lot of pee as well :P

Fleiger said...

You missed some things... If you become man, you can drive better, be more logical and have better control on your emotions too (which helps in reducing the expense of tissues you need to carry around).

And one more thing, you don't need brakes when driving bikes now-a-days. The potholes on the roads do the work for you, without making it seem that you are "trying" too hard ;)

Anil P said...

As they say 'the grass is greener on the other side' :)

Cuckoo said...

Arzoon,
I've mastered the skill of writing my own name while peeing on a wall :) … ROFL !!! You are the boldest of the lot !!

Fleiger,
If you become man, you can drive better, be more logical...Oh Oh you mean how to drive around the destination for hours without asking for correct directions ? :P Is that being more logical also ??
which helps in reducing the expense of tissues you need to carry around..I don’t want tissue industry to close down especially when I am asking the world to cry!!

The potholes on the roads do the work for you, without making it seem that you are "trying" too hard ;)...Ha Ha..you seem to be an experienced man !! Thanks. Will remember it when I get a lift next time ;)

Anil P,
Welcome to my blog. Hope you liked it.
As they say 'the grass is greener on the other side' :). As I said earlier, I wanted to have those green pastures for a day. :))

Thanks for your visit. Keep coming.

Fleiger said...

I left a comment on your blog yesterday... tell me you got it... and tell me you didn't delete it.

Cuckoo said...

Fleiger,
Look up !! Your comment is sitting nicely before Anil P's comment. Why would I delete the comment ? Are you still sleepy ?? :P

Fleiger said...

Not that. I replied to your reply, and now it is not here :(
Seems I did not publish it properly :((

Cuckoo said...

Ohh,, no it didn't come. :(( What are you waiting for then ?? Should have shot them again. Waiting for your comments. :)

Also, I get a notification in my mail-box if somebody puts a comment on any of my posts. I didn't get any such mail for your comments. Strange part is it is not even asking for a word verification now !!

Good time for spams.

Bendtherulz said...

Nah- not funny , I could sense that you were serious...I meant by Fun partner as one with whom you could be what you are :-)

Just around...bit bizi ( I know such old recorded excuse...) just working for a change....lol...!

Sigma said...

Late entry ? not really :-) read the post and wanted to comment earlier, but ....

Another masterpiece :-) Amusing post.
I too envy the guys for certain things .. most significant one is the freedom to relieve anytime, anywhere. As you said, those long road journeys are a BIG torture ;-)

On the serious note, there are a lot more privilieges guys enjoy, and specifically more so in our society. Yesterday TOI carried an article that detailed that of the spousal kidney donations, only 10% are women (Evaluate that considering an equal ratio of illness). The aricle also explicitly mentioned (from the docs' experience) that while women are forced by the family to donate a kidney to husband, husbands are forced NOT to donate a kidney to a needy wife. And this is just one of the smaller things.

Cuckoo said...

BTR,
Fun Partner ?? *scratching my head again* At this rate I'll soon become bald :((

Jokes apart, where is the joke you were talking about?

Sigma,
Today again I got a comment on my very first post. So, you can see it is never too late. :)

Oh, thanks for calling it a masterpiece. Tahe dil se shukriya. :))

Yes, I am aware of those many many issues. More often than not I am forced by my instincts to write on those topics and I think I'll continue doing that. But this time after "Feminism" I wanted to boost myself up. At the same time I am happy that I succeeded to convey the message through a light hearted post. :)
You can determine yourself by the comments.. they all agree about the privileges & none of them wants to be a female.. not even for a day !!

Raman Gupta said...

Everyone feels others are better off in some way...so I think gals are better off:-
1) Guys run after them,obey their commands
2) and Still love them...
3) Gals have reservation in buses,parliament etc
4) In an accident if cause is a gal then ppl don't say much to them and let them go...if its a guy ppl will almost kill him,police will extract heavy amount from them...
5) Then u always have advantage of tears...true guy cannot weep/cry...they r to bear pain...

But still we guys have more freedom,non-seducing body part...so they can show them off :),blah-blah

Enjoy being urself...and love others...

Cuckoo said...

Raman,
Want to switch places ? BTW, I defy the reservations for ladies.

I am always very proud to be a female. It is sometimes that we envy you guys on some petty matters. ;)

Ganesh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GuNs said...

ROTFL, be careful of what you wish for as it just might come TRUE !

I didnt know a woman would like to be a man and enjoy the feeling. Most girls are bent no saying being a man would be so yuck !! Men are dirty and all that.

ROTFL, looking forward to reading more from you !

-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs

Cuckoo said...

Guns,
Welcome to my blog once again. Well, if that is so, sometimes we would like to be yucky !! ;)

Glad to see you here. Keep coming.

Tshhar Mangal said...

as many before me have already said..
grass is always greener at other side
...thoughts very well written...
one of my favourites,,,from ur blogs,,,
God bless you