Saturday, November 25, 2006

Symptoms of a foreign returned

One of my distant friends is coming back from abroad. This is what is expected of him by his family and friends for some initial months. Needless to say, I also do some of these but more as a habit since childhood and not because I come back from a foreign land.

- Will drink and carry mineral water and always speak of health consciousness.

- Will sneeze and say 'Excuse me'. (I always do that since my childhood)

- Will say "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".
say "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
say "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".

say "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
say "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
And many more..

- Will not forget to crib about air pollution and any other type of pollution.

- Will look for a dustbin everywhere to throw candy wrappers etc. & if not found will keep in pocket till he gets one. (This is typical me, so cleanliness freak I am )

- Unknowingly will try to figure all the prices in Forex and utter “Ah ! so cheap.”
- Will try to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet.
- Will crib about Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

- Will look for a zebra crossing. (Me again. Zebra crossings are so rare in Mumbai)

- Will avoid eating more chilli (hot) stuff.
- Will try to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
- Will try to complain about any thing in
India as if experiencing it for the first time.
- Will pronounce "schedule" as "skejule", "module" as "mojule" , "today" as "to die" and some more depending on where he is coming from.

- Will say “Thank you” even to vegetable vendor. (Typical me. Sometimes I wonder how pointlessly well mannered I am) ;) lollll

Have you or anyone known to you faced such foreign returned symptoms ?

Current song- Kahin Door Jab Din Dhal Jaaye – Mukesh


Sameer said...

ah been there, done that :)
there is a list that applies the other way round too, that of a desi abroad.

Pyare Mohan said...

- would be dying to eat a wada pav (if the person is from Bombay)
- would find the climate extremely hot and humid
- will ask about the ingredients of the dish to the waiter in the restaurant until he gets pissed off and introduces him to the chef!

Gaurav said...

A few characteristics of desis who live abroad for a few years and return that I have noticed -
- Crib about how India is getting Americanised
- Will get bugged if someone wants to go to Subway or KFC, saying those places are looked down upon in USA
- Crib about how even kids in India have cellphones these days
- Cluck their tongues about girls streaking their hair

etc etc

Cuckoo said...

I think any person who returns from abroad would do at least some of these. It’s very natural.
Hmmm about the desi abroad, I’ll have to recount my & my colleagues’ experiences to pen down. No worries, will try to do that as well. :)

Pyare Mohan,
Not aware of the third one, but yes, I miss Indian food as soon as I land on foreign land and start making a list of what all I am going to eat once I am back.

Ketan & SiD,
Well, I never got any such forwards. One of our colleagues is expected next weekend & yesterday in office we were discussing the same. This post is outcome of that.

Do you really think I would have written a post on forwards? From now onwards pls send me all such forwards, my life will become very easy. I can then write 3-4 posts daily without bothering about anything else.
Also, as I had said earlier, you are free not to visit my blog.

Welcome to my blog. Though you have visited before, I guess these are your first comments here. Thanks. Keep visiting, that’s more important. :)

Except for the second one I didn’t know about others. So, they don’t like India getting westernized? Good to know that.
I have seen people cribbing about India being so backward and ill-equipped.

Thanks once again.

Mayank said...

Sorry I was away on trip. Will read all your posts and comment.

There are so many others.
Like cell = mobile = gsm
dustbin = trash
They crib about the train conditions, crowd & timings.

So You Wanna Be An MBA said...

Thankfully, this doesn't happen to me even after 5 years of living in the US. The moment I'm in India, I turn my accent switch off as smoothly as I take to the left side driving. But I do know of some people who pick up and flaunt the accent even if they are there in the US for a couple of months. And what irritates me the most about these folks is that they try to use the same accent while talking in Hindi.

Cuckoo said...

Yeah, true. :))

Good to know that you are not in that bracket. :))

they try to use the same accent while talking in Hindi.. LOLLL, you are absolutely right!! Those people are just a show-off types, having got the chance of their life to travel abroad.

mathew said...

ah..all such phoren imports get into the groove soon..however hard they try a desi is finally a desi..and flaunting looks so silly and makes a mockery of themselves.

Fleiger said...

Ahem, not everybody is like that.

Keshi said...

LOL this is sooo true!

**Will try to complain about any thing in India as if experiencing it for the first time.

hehe thats cos after living overseas for a long time, ur psyche gets used to certain things and then the old things from ur own country seem new :)


Bendtherulz said...

Good observation...though I agree with Fleiger not everybody is like that....!

One of my friend who has lived all her life out...she speaks hindi and during her trip to India I taught her all the colloquial was fun when she use to speak in OZ drawl...perfect hindi slang!!

adi said...

so i come back again :)

and i smile at this post :))

see, how big it is!!!

Maverick said...

im coming to india this dec as well n im sure i'll do some of those things as well BUT all by instinct and NOT deliberately :).

Gangadhar said...

just hilarious..Explained the situation in a simple but clear manner..
yeah i've faced and facing those kind of symptomes...lolzz

Deepak Menon said...

Dear Cuckoo who is not Cuckoo
Every comment on this post including the hilarious post itself is so true and in a little while the entire post + comments are going to be sent to my wonderful son who spent his 7th Semester of IT abroad as well as a summer training abroad - and yes he did acquire that accent effortlessly like saying Maine for Man and Tom ae toes for tomatoes Ha Ha
And Cuckoo - seeing the previous comment by that wonderful humanist Gangadhar tells me how you reached my blog - and welcome and do remain in touch
Deepak from Dehradun

Mridula said...

I know someone who has now lived for more than 10 years in the US and yet whenever he is walking around in a dirty street, I am the one who makes a fuss and he behaves as if it is a part of his everyday life. But then there have to be some exceptions!

Anonymous said...

Hey Cuckoo,sharda Here!
Nice list.I have seen many people doing all these ,but it sounds and feels so awkward.As the saying goes "when in rome live like romans".After stepping inside India these people have hard time transition from one culture to the other one.You know habit!

Cuckoo said...

Hi All,
Yes, it is difficult to change in a day especially if someone is coming after a long period. But sometimes once we are home, we feel at home and tend to give up those habits fast. :)

What happened? You are still not able to come as a blogger?

Catmoves said...

Loved this post. 'Course, I'm a Yank, but....
Tell me this is true: "say "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
There is NO substitute for Chocolate. Absolutely none. No way. No how.
Candy is something else. These people who use this word must be found and denied their chocolate rations for at least two weeks.
Signed: Admitted Chocoholic.
BTW, I have always loved the Indian accent. Please don't change it for me.

Cuckoo said...

Glad to see you here again. :) Looks like you gonna be a regular here.

Well, actually in whole of India except Mumbai(Bombay) "Candy" is called "toffee" which I think is apt b'coz as you rightly said chocolate IS a chocolate & nothing else. :)

But since I shifted to Mumbai, I saw this unusual language. Also, Mumbai has quite different Hindi.

Ha Ha.. there is no one accent called Indian accent. Here we have variety of accents ;) Maybe I'll write about sometime.
Thanks for your visit.

Neekita said...

You forgot about some desi stuff like looking for a toilet paper in indian style toilets, not to wear pants when elder relatives are around (exclusively for Indian brides returning in a year or so on foreign soils - soooo like, my friends wait for Golgappa - of course.