CRY Man, CRY !!

Is it right if men cry sometimes? That too in public? Yes, I am asking you.

After all, they are also human beings with all the same emotions as we women have. Then?? Then what’s wrong? Then where, what and why is the difference? What is keeping them to withhold their emotions?

Millions of times I must have heard this being told to opposite sex irrespective of his age “Hey, you should not cry, you are a man”.

While males and females have the same emotional capacity, they are taught very different lessons about how to handle their emotions. As we approach school age, all of us are made aware, "Big boys don't cry." And we small girls also start believing that, many times telling our “boy” friends how they should behave. Furthermore, we never see our dads and big brothers whimper every now and then.

Right from the beginning from his very early days in life, the male kid is being brainwashed of being a male. All people around him teach him only one lesson.

You are a boy, going to become a man..a strong man. You are NOT supposed to cry or weep or even show your emotions in public.

To enforce that embargo, those who couldn't hold back the tears had to endure the humiliation of being called a "girl”, a "sissy".

But where do the tears go? Where do all these emotions go? Sorry to say, they don’t disappear. They are still there, causing havoc. Is it because these men have held it in so long to believe that if they cry the tears won't stop? Perhaps the men just cry on the inside.

But why???

It really beats me. Look at this helpless, powerless, weak, self-emoting man. Why can’t this father moan openly at the sight of his son’s dead body? Is he not human or doesn’t he possess any emotions? Why are we after him to hide his true self? Why can’t he be normal?

Now, look at this famous picture of a young man during Gujarat riots.
With folded hands, crying profusely begging for his life. Do you think he was doing something terrifically wrong which he shouldn’t have done?

Emotions are to be felt, not acted on. As long as they are suppressed, we are tense and flustered. Most emphatically, suppressed emotions interfere with clear thinking. Ironically, in trying to control their emotions, most men wind up controlled by them.

If you happen to know cricket, do you remember Kapil Dev crying on TV when he was responding to the allegations of match fixing? That face of his is still fresh in my mind. I had also become tearful that time. When I can shed tears by just looking at the TV screen, why can’t he, who had gone through such pains, do that?

And again, recently in one of the talent search programs on ZEE TV, he almost cried.

What do you think of such fearless fast bowler of yesteryears? Or of all those firemen who broke down after rescuing people from the Twin Towers after 9/11 ??

But the truth is that a man feels trapped in an oppressive role that does not allow him the opportunity to freely express what he wants to. In other words, being a man has become very limiting and constrictive.

He is not suffering from a psychosexual compels, one of those women-trapped-in-men's-bodies syndromes. No. Nor is he homosexual or bisexual. Instead he is a man who wants the ability to express emotions and feelings as openly as the next woman.

The persistence of the emotionally alienated male addresses the political and social implications of male emotional release. Psychologists believe it is important to have a good cry. It is a proven fact that crying performs an important function by releasing stress hormones. And perhaps that is the reason why men are so angry, so restless and so helpless at times, a sheer psychological effect.

Anger is the most common emotion expressed by males. That is because men and boys feel more accepted by society when they express anger over what is considered to be the more ‘feminine’ emotions.

Why do so many men lose their tempers? The rage comes because there's so much frustration within. Yet that's what men do, the trap is worrying about what others will think - that it will lower their status or esteem. For men, the control of passions is the essence of masculinity and gentility. And that is the most pitiable picture today.

We all need to change it...change for better human emotions and understanding.

So guys, it is perfectly ok if you cry. Don’t hesitate. Open up, express yourself and CRY. No, nobody is going to laugh at you. We are here to comfort you, soothe you, understand you and LOVE you. We know that within your iron strong body there resides a tender & kind heart. We appreciate that very much. We are proud of you.

Now, I feel like giving you a big beary hug.

Current song- Dil Cheez Kya Hai, Aap Meri Jaan Leejiye – Asha Bhosale

Human Behaviour Society