Friday, December 22, 2006

Of Helplessness

Why sometimes people don’t listen to you ? Even your near and dear ones? No, I am not advocating for any kind of skills here. It is neither a question of their inferior listening skills nor our inadequate communications skills. It is something about the human nature, human behavior.

Why some people want to fall again and again for something which is going to give them pain, pain and only pain ? It is so frustrating at times when someone you know wants to go down again to those alluring tempting short term pleasures and won’t listen to your words of caution. It hurts dreadfully... to all of us, them as well as us.
They don’t realize what they are doing to their life, neither do they think twice about how much they going to suffer after that foolish act and how much pain they going to inflict on us.

To me, it is a suicidal action to some extent. Reasons for these actions could be as different as the persons themselves.

In my previous company, one of my colleagues was a smoker. His father had died of throat cancer because of excessive smoking. This young guy of twenty-six years was aware of the reason of his father’s illness and subsequent death, still he continued smoking. All advices from the whole world fell on deaf ears. He had responsibilities to carry out. Today, as I write this post, he is a married man and has a small kid. He has continued his smoking, has become a chain smoker now. He and his infant child both cough all the time. He has his old mother, young sister besides his wife and kid to support.
Some people want to smoke and drink knowing very well the risks involved in it. After sometime they realize that this small pleasure has been converted in a non relinquishable habit.

I know of a girl who believes in wafer thin body. She thinks she looks beautiful that way and to achieve that look she is starving herself. She is depriving her body of nutritious food. At present she is not realizing the importance of good strong bones and a healthy body. Being a female she is prone to many health related problems later in life which she is not able to understand now. Also, I don't think men admire very thin, stick like structures to be their companions.

Another genus of human race believe in ‘love’ at first sight, get attracted to someone without knowing the feelings of that other person and then ‘fail’ to succeed in their love. After that failure, start painful heartbreaking nights with drinks and burying in cocoon. Whether it is love or infatuation is not a point of contention. The point is that these emotionally loaded people seek love at a place where it may or may not exist. Luck just doesn’t want to favour them for some more time.
It is good to have a positive attitude towards anything but not at the cost of your own sentiments. I fail to understand why do they play with their own emotions knowing very well that this will lead to nowhere except for giving them more pain and anguish than before and in turn pain to their near and dear ones.

Whatever be the problem, it knocks you down physically as well as emotionally. It doesn’t matter what you become first – an emotional fool or a physical ramshackle in search of that momentary bliss.

And why the hell are we bothered for these people when they themselves do not want to make an effort ? Why do we care for them so much ? Much more than they care for themselves ? Is there any solution to this ?
At times we all are so speechless and helpless.

Current song- Dil Mein Ek Leher Si Uthi Hai Abhi – Ghulam Ali

39 comments:

Pyare Mohan said...

This is a story of everyone. There is a thin line where in subjectivity and objectivity comes in the crossroads and they get confused of what is right and what is wrong. Once a decision is taken, then everyone tries to justify themselves.

There is a saying that my dad used to use whenever i was caught lying and would lie another time to cover up the earlier lie. He said, "When you fall down get up, dont keep rolling in the dirt."

Probably all of the mentioned guys keep rolling and refuse to get up!

Cuckoo said...

PM,
Sometimes they know the result, still the temptation doesn't leave them. And this is not limited to one age group. It happens to all of us from 9 to 90 year bracket.

I liked the words of your father. :) So true.

Ketan said...

with first part of your story, I certainly think its suicidal, and people most of the time are not mentally as strong as we like them to be. may be you can try some other trick to get the person in question back on the track. Difficult but certainly not impossible.

The second part is getting a very serious problem nowadays. With all the hype and mislead perceptions for beauty etc. Hope someday the girl in question herself realizes this. I increasingly see many guys who do not like slim ladies. Hope the trend grows.

In my opinion the third part is actually not serious at all. I think infatuation is a necessary thing. Even if it results in disappointment or so-called failed-love. Its a necessary lesson. And also fun, if one knows how to enjoy it and not to take it too seriously.
That was my take.

nice blog this.

Pratik Pandey said...

Everyone wants to change for better, but it’s not very easy to change. The process of changing creates constant struggle within. All self-help books teach how it can be done. But somehow nothing works for me. :-)

Tarun said...

smoking is really too bad I don't know why people don't understand that.

In the name of fashion those skinny body oh god!

Love at first sight....I love that because you don't have to spend much for expensive gifts. So do love at first sight because whenever u see opp. sex you fell so it will be always first sight and the person u start liking keep changing....;)

niki yokota said...

hi cuckoo-chan!!
i really love the way u think!!
and the pic of crying man is so cute lol
thanks and good night!!

Cuckoo said...

Ketan,
Thanks for your opinion on the post. To me, all are suicidal actions if not done within the limits. Only the degree varies.
As you said, first one definitely and 2nd also. I think these two people need some psycho help. As PM said rightly, they are confused in differentiating between right and wrong.
I increasingly see many guys who do not like slim ladies…I also think so. :))

Third part is fun, if one knows how to enjoy it and not to take it too seriously… Yes, if not taken seriously.

Cuckoo said...

Pratik,
Welcome to my blogworld !! I see you a young boy of 20 years and I MUST appreciate your honesty in accepting the fact. Bravo !! It itself is a step towards your fight for these addictions. No self-help book is required if you have the willpower and determination to quit.

Let me give you a real life example. The director of my former company was a chain smoker, he tried many times to quit.. nothing happened. One fine day he decided to go to Sabari Malai temple in Kerala. There he did not smoke for full 15 days, always had cardamom & clove in his mouth to drive away the urge. It continued even after coming back and today he is a campaigner for non smoking. :))

Thanks for your visit. Keep coming.

Tarun,
I agree with you Tarun.

Love at first sight.... Ha Ha.. To me its infatuation not love. Let me tell you even girls are prone to it ;) and yes it is fun if done moderately, not expecting the real love popping out of it. :))

Cuckoo said...

Niki,
After a longgg time !! Where were you ? Vacations?
Oh thank you so much for all the appreciations. Thanks once again and keep coming.

SiD said...

Amazing..I am very much with you in the confusion about why it cant be done...
why knowing that it would kill u still smoke..and try to be thin.. and 'fall' in love.. why...

No answers.. how i wud love to b a psychologist..
i guess these passions(passions - considering that person's point of view) have their seed born right from the time when we come in our senses...u never know which incident - small or big, which took place from the time u r born(increasing ur age grp of 9-90) takes a seat in some corner of ur mind.. and unconsciously it is in play while decisions like u mentioned are taken... but really i wud love to get the answers to these... make sure u write a blog if u get them ;)

AlterinG Abhishek said...

I like this!!--->>>

"Simple, Serious, Sincere, Straight fwd, Serene, Sensitive and Smart. Heyy but waittt!!! I think I have missed one "S" here.. a little bit of Sense of humour as well !!

"

Nice blog!!

Gangadhar said...

quite a thoughtful one,Cuckoo..
It sure is hard to break a bad habit, but easy to get out of a good habit. You know, I have a few friends that smoke and they tell me they do it just because they like it and could quit any time, but have you ever been around someone trying to quit? That is a hard habit to kick.
i feel it's just like re-wiring the brain to break a habit

Pyare Mohan said...

Cuckoo, you dont believe in Love at first sight? too bad ;-p

It is an amazing feeling, if it keeps happening all the time. Then, there are no heartbreaks at all! :))

Cuckoo said...

SiD,
Yes, these are passions for them and they don’t WANT to come out of it. Sometimes they do try but lack of willpower and determination doesn’t allow them to do so.
Oh sure, if I get an answer, I’ll definitely write. :)

Altering Abhishek,
Welcome to my blog !! Hee Hee.. even I liked it. :)) Would be interested to know how you tumbled upon my blog ?

Thanks for liking the blog. Does that mean I should expect you here from now on ? Looking forward to more of your visits.

Gangadhar,
Yes, it is very hard to quit completely once one gets in the habit.

Pyare Mohan,
Who says I don’t believe in ‘Love’ at first sight ? Please read up. I have replied to someone saying even girls are prone to this ;)
My only contention is that it is not ‘Love’, call it anything else like attraction, infatuation, madness, funny situation.. I am ok with it. ;)

And I know, it is an amazing feeling.. person is always smiling lost in his/her own dream world. :))))
Note-Don’t look at my long smile now.

Fleiger said...

Hey, it's holiday season... enjoy. Don't worry, be happy :D

Anyways, not everybody likes stick-thin girls (but size does matter).

Cuckoo said...

Fleiger,
Welcome after a long hiatus. Me and worried ??

not everybody likes stick-thin girls (but size does matter).. LOLLLL...yes, I agree. Nobody likes them.

Aditi said...

I wrote a big big comment yesterday.. but it disappeared..
where did it go?

Cuckoo said...

Aditi,
Awww.. it never came here. :(( Too bad. Were you logged in your blogger account before commenting ? Make sure you do so. Sometimes the blogger does not behave nicely.

Other method could be to save your comment in word & after commenting if it is still not there (check once by refreshing the screen), repaste your comment from word. Saves from typing and disappointment both. ;)

Type it again na. Pullleeeease...

Cuckoo said...

The following comment is from Hazel Dream. Looks like he also has problem in writing comment here. So, he pasted in my Chit Chat Box."
hmm , dropped by . I envy you .. u are so bloody regular with ur blog. how do u manage time.. by the way I added u in my Google Chat ..

Cuckoo said...

Hazel Dream,
Managing time is always a little difficult. You can see my answer to you in the Chit Chat Box. It was around 3 AM !!
Thanks for adding me in your Google Chat but sorry to say I don't chat. Thanks for dropping by. Now the festive season and you gonna be busy. :))

Wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Aditi said...

Ahh it was a rant because i know people like that too.. let me see if i can recreate the rant (although doesnt seem feasible now)
Basicall the gist of it was that I know people who smoke and it pisses me off one thing i dont allow is for them to smoke around me.. no way am i inhaling their second hand smoke
About those anorexic girls..yes i know one and it drives me nuts for she doenst listen.. let me tell u an apple is not lunch and definitely isnt dinner on the same day...

Pyare Mohan said...

i am looking at your loooooong smile :-D
Merry Christmas!

adi said...

meri to comments ke baare mein ab aap baat na hi karein to accha hoga :(

anyways, u can find the adi who looks better than srk at the nov 28 post of delhidreams...

now, that gives me a reason to smile, so here i go :)

merry christmas

adi said...

errr
nov 28, 2005
pardon me
:)))

adi said...

arre wah, teen teen comments ek sath publish ho gayi???

cuckoo ko toh bad luck ich kharab hai...

Alok said...

arrre u had some post, of your khatarnak wired imagination ??

my gooogle reader had caught it, kaha gaya wo ??

Cuckoo said...

Aditi,
Yes, smoking is a strict no-no for me too.
An apple is not lunch and definitely isnt dinner on the same day... Exactly !!

Thanks for blogrolling me.

PM,
Keep looking ;) Your eyes will get tired. :P

Adi,
Oh, I couldn’t wait for that coming from you. I know how ‘busy’ you are these days. ;) So, found out myself and commented there as well, much before you told me.
Keep floating. :)

Alok,
Ha Ha ...you too have some like those kya ? And khatarnak ? They are all do-ables and I seriously want to do them one day. Here they are. I have many more ...not penned till now. :)

BTW, Thanks for blogrolling me.

Sigma said...

I typed a big comment here this morning, and it didnt get posted. Nah, before you come to another possible problem/solution scenario, I'll give you a reson you'll probably not have heard before :-) I have some work going on at my home, and while the electrician was fixing some wires in a room, I was merrily browsing the net in another. And all of a sudden, just as I was about to submit my comment, off went the modem ! (Seems like we have a single line running through the entire flat.)

So what I was saying was that although people understand the banes of the bad habits, they do not have any intention of quitting, especially the addictive ones like smoking and drinking. Many times, they offer a weird logic (which is completely illogical to others, of course) as a justification.
I personally detest smoking more than anything else, because people keep smoking in public places, with the least bit of consideration to others. Many times, people take a perverse pride by indulging in such habits. I will relate an incident I witnessed some time back.
I was at Barista, where there was this gang of college students (they could well have been in school) was also hanging out. They were creating a lot of ruckus, and of course, smoking. They bought a flute from a passing street vendor, and inserted cigarettes in all the "holes". All the cigarettes were then lighted together, and they tried to inhale the smoke through the mouth piece of the flute. The intensity of the smoke was so much that it caused a severe bout of coughing, but nevertheless, all of them (both girls and guys) took turns at it.

niki yokota said...

longgg time?? awww chorry!!
ive been blog-hopping but troubled in making comments at many frens blog ^^
Happy Holidays!! i really liked this post, so sent a link to this post to my fren who cant stop drinking. thanks a lottt!!
wish u a very Happy New Year 2007!!

Cuckoo said...

Sigma,
Awww that’s painful. I hope it is all done now. And yes, I couldn’t have guessed your problem of not able to comment here. ;) Enjoying your holidays at home ?

True, their logic is always illogical.
That was a quite a awful but common incident these days. These young kids are so much into show off that they don’t understand what is good or bad. They just want to be in limelight. All with wallet full of their parents’ money raring to go in any direction. Mumbai being place for film world tops the list in India.

Niki,
Yes, many people are complaining about the commenting problem. Thanks Nikichan for liking the post. Actually speaking I could have written a separate post for all these smoking, drinking etc. but lack of time made me club all together. Anyways, the gist is conveyed and that’s what I wanted at the end of this post.

Thanks for your visit. Keep coming. Happy New Year to you too !!

Sunil Parmar said...

Hello Cuckoo.
What a nice thought.
I fully agree with you.
In fact sometimes back i wrote about similar thing and I feel we think the same way.

Take Care.

Sunil Parmar said...

Do check my latest work:
-Sunil Parmar.info

Thank you.:)

Sunil Parmar said...

oh! god :)-It's just n thought of my mind{the story}.:).

Thanks for being at my site. i've configured the site in wordpress. Hence it'll work like a blog.:). There i'll write about Computers and Technology-My passion.:).

Take Care.

Bendtherulz said...

Smoking - detest it...not to mention not done and tried ( whole gamut of things) and I know why - just to try act smarter then others....! Now I just feel so stupid ( thinking all those incidents) and would not do even if somebody pays me!!
I think so many things which we try to do is out of - False pride!

I think trap is - "we are so smart that we will not get into the vicious circle" - till the noose tightens....and then as the word goes - hook ...line ...sinker...!

ps - I know late entry....! Happy Holidays & see you in Jan !!

Cuckoo said...

Sunil,
Glad to see you back ! How were the vacations ? I saw your website. Quite good, very organized. Liked the look and Computers and Technology?? Are you going to start a Forum ?

BTR,
I know I know you are late :P .. Working for a change.. right ?
I must appreciate your honesty in accepting that you have done it, whatever be the reason. Yes, I agree with you ..its all for false pride, just a show off, to be with the so called 'trend’.

Happy New Year to you too !! Where are you heading for ?

Bendtherulz said...

Bang on !!

Just came back from a trip to Rajasthan ( Udaipur & Chittor to be precise)
I have to do lots of catching up on your blog....:-(

Cuckoo said...

BTR,
Wow!! So, we can expect a few posts on those places ? Must be very cold. Official / personal ?
I'll definitely take your guidance when I venture out in that part of India.

Lolll.. read my blog araam se.. koi jaldi nahi :))

Bendtherulz said...

This time of the year - like end Dec - only personal :-) . Begin Jan....official...bohooo...!! Off again on Monday and will be so behind all the blogging...$#@....!!

Rajasthan was so warm & toasty...amazing weather...in these 2 cities...!
Will be my pleasure to advise you...let me know when you are planning infact would not mind being your Guide -afterall Rajasthan is my hometown!!

Gangadhar said...

yeah..i feel like i got the answer from you though me visited this post loong time back..tnx for the link..