Thursday, March 01, 2007

Say it today

Back from hiatus. I can see, so many people had wondered what happened to me and kept checking/messaging on both my blogs. Thanks for all your concerns and wishes. Well, I am back, that’s more important. Suddenly I had to rush out of Mumbai for personal reasons. Give me sometime, I’ll cover up all your blogs and try to be my own self again ....

Phir usi bewafaa pe marte hain,
Phir wahi zindagi hamaari hai

This month long break has taught me many things. Not that I didn’t know about them, but it reiterated and reaffirmed my belief in them.

First, it taught me to take life more seriously, its not a joke.
It taught me to move on in life with a smile on your face after you lose someone very dear to you, however painful it is to do that.

It taught me not to expect anything from any relation, for, expectations lead to frustrations and in the process we end up losing the person and his/her beautiful closeness.

It also taught me that it is in our hands to make life beautiful... for us and for the ones who love us.
It taught me how important and fragile relationships in our lives are. By relationships I mean any... relations with your parents, siblings, colleagues, friends and so on and you should not let them break for whatever reasons.

Ohh it taught me much more than all this crap. I tried hard.. very hard. I tried to read, tried to scribble my sane/insane thoughts, tried to eat and sleep. Yes, I tried all. I even tried to post something nice but messed up and now my thoughts are refusing to come out of me..... they don’t want to be exposed... at least some of them... at least for the time being... I know not all, but some of them will see the light through my posts and you’ll definitely relate those posts to this one.

Well, what do you do when you hurt someone ? Or if someone hurts you very badly, how do you forgive that person? It is hard... very hard. Is not it ? Even if you want to, you are in a dilemma.

Well, however difficult it is, if I feel I have done something wrong even remotely to hurt someone, I become extremely restless and don’t sit quietly till I make up for that. People who know me will agree to it. I go all out to clear the air. And somehow, I find my way. Be it through a call, sms, mail, letter, face-to-face (at times this being the most difficult) or even a simple card... I somehow manage to say ‘SORRY’ and I mean it.

Yes, this simple one word has tremendous healing power. It wonderfully revives the deteriorating relations. I have been on both sides of this since my childhood and have done both.. saying sorry and forgiving. And I don’t believe in breaking any relations, any friendship for silly reasons. Of course, the other person should not close ALL the doors for reconciliations.

Life is short... very short for these petty reasons to take charge of your life, to take charge of the way you live your life or treat others. Don’t ever let these reasons rule you.

Never ever let your ego/anger/embarrassment/ misunderstanding come between any relations, it kills everything.. sometimes on the spot and sometimes in a crawling slow death which is even more painful.

Don’t hesitate, it’s perfectly okay if you go to that someone.. and believe me, you are not letting yourself down by doing so, you are rising in that person’s eyes and most importantly in your own eyes. And your bond is going to be even more stronger than before.

Think of the person whom you have hurt, how is he/she coping or trying to cope with it ? That person may be waiting to hear from you. Even if you think that the other person was wrong, there is absolutely no harm in approaching him with a fresh attitude. Chances are, the other person is as much hurt as you are.

I have noticed, many times you need not even utter that word ‘Sorry’. The moment you approach them with clean heart, they understand the genuine effort made by you. Many times we fight over trivial baseless issues, later realize our mistakes and then we are stuck. Stuck because even though we want to rectify our mistake, our ego shamelessly stops us from doing so.
Also, if the other person comes and says sorry, please for God’s sake,
have a heart and forgive him/her. Remember, just like you how difficult it would have been for that person to gather courage and come to you.

Agreed, many times it is very difficult to forgive people but think of it. If the person is feeling guilty and approaches you, half the battle is already won.
The main hurdle in all this sorry-forgive affair is to initiate. If you are really concerned about reconciliation then it doesn’t matter who initiates. I have done it even when the fault was not mine simply because I knew the person concerned was extremely sorry but not able to gather courage to face me.

Being humans, we all hurt each other but it is always better to get over with it instead of having self-inflicting pains forever. They say it's easier to forgive than to forget. That's true. But if you genuinely try then I think it's easier to forget too. And if you want to take revenge.. remember, Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.

So, if you have done anything wrong to any person and if you ever cared for him/her even for a moment, act before it is too late. Ring that person up even if she/he may be the one whoshould be doing it. Send a 'I'm sorry' card to the person you hurt last week/last month/last year. Give a hug. Take that person out if you can. Do whatever you can, but DO.

And if you didn't get a chance to say sorry /to forgive that someone who's not alive anymore, say a little prayer and do something special in her/his memory today.

People are irreplaceable so cherish them and let them know that you care for them, while they're alive. Don’t carry that guilt/anger/hurt to your grave.

Remember, Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

Don’t delay.. say it today.

Note:- Since I don’t want anyone to comment on this post, I have disabled it. Bear with me.

Current song-I Just Called to Say I Love you - Stevie Wonder