Sunday, November 04, 2007

The Time That was

Yesterday I was feeling very low & suffocated. Don’t know why, but I was terribly missing something. I felt as if something had been drained out of me... I felt some hollowness, emptiness, some void within me. And to avoid that sense of asphyxiation I wanted to be alone with my wandering thoughts.

Generally when it happens I don’t want to be home, I just go out in search of that something which could make me alright in the end. Whether I succeed in getting that ‘something’ or not is a different thing.
I think at some point of time many of us feel like this. It is the need to be with oneself... listen to the inner voice... experience the inner need.

So, I came out, didn’t really know where to go, went to the station & took a train for Ville Parle. Wanted to go to Juhu beach to be with the restless and nervous waves... hitting the shores angrily, letting out all the frustrations… again & again & again. I can spend hours watching them and so much feel at home, in my own comfort zone in doing so.
After getting down at Ville Parle, another bout of loneliness hit me. The area was so familiar to me that I decided to walk down… remembering my wonderful days when I used to commute daily to this place. Walking on the Station road, crossed McDonalds, the SV road and reached the petrol pump and an instant smile came on my face. :)
I knew I had made a right decision to go there.

From there I could see NMIMS and the number of Xerox shops which, for sometime, had become part of my daily life.. And I smiled again !! . :)

As I walked by, I remembered the time I spent there.
For months I had been coming here. The buildings, the road, Mithibai college on the opposite side and the Xerox shops.
For months, more often than not, a single vada paav and a chai at the roadside vendor outside NM was my staple food. Standing on the road, I felt nostalgic about the whole thing.

Then suddenly something happened which made me even happier. A sense of contentment and belonging filled me. जैसे तेज़ भागती हुई ज़िंदगी में पल भर के लिए ठहराव आ गया हो |

I don’t know what I was missing till then, but after reaching that place and remembering my days there, made me happy. :)

There was no need now to go to the beach. Anyhow, took a cab to Juhu beach, spent sometime there but it was all meaningless. Not much to write about. In all these years, it was only my third visit to the place. Everytime I go there thinking that the beach would be cleaner this time but no, it can not be. Though the shops are reduced and they are in a much organized manner within a boundary but the attitude of general public remains the same.

While walking along the shore, away from the crowded place, at every 10 steps I saw people peeing into the see. What a shame. I felt like puking. One day I am going to hit them for sure. GRRRRRR

Had paav-bhaji and kulfi falooda. Oh I remembered Karol Bagh’s Kulfi falooda from Mehre di Hatti ke bajuwali dukaan. :) Slurrrrrrp...

Khair, I didn’t want my beautiful memories and mood to be subdued by all this. Came back home. Smiling. :)))))

Current Song:- I Wanna Hold Your Hand – Beatles

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39 comments:

Amey said...

Faluda :p I miss that here.

Nice to know you came back to smiley land. Sometimes just going back to places you liked helps... So do songs, movies and books :)

Praveen G K said...

Mmm...so you wandered lonely as a cloud :-)

Well, it happens all the time, and it is good to find a right place to be at peace!!!

So, did you get it finally? :-)

Peter said...

Yes, despite whatever, please keep smiling!

Leziblogger said...

You studied in NMIMS? Me too!

The world couldn't be any more round!!

I can very much relate to your post- the xerox machines, the vada pav, the buzz!!

SiD said...

abey... u my senior??????
hadh hi ho gayi yaar.. never told me!!! and main nahi dikha NM ke aaas paas..hehehehe.

and ya juhu beach... u don't feel like going there bcoz it has become more of a garbage can!!

SiD said...

forgot to tell that single vada pav and chai is still the staple these days!! ;)

starry nights said...

I love faluda also.sometimes I like to go to the beach and just watch the waves .it is so peaceful and gives me a chance to reflect.hope you are feeling better.

backpakker said...

I can emphathise with that ..Ive felt like that very often and sometimes a familiar thought, scene or just touching base withoneself can create a diff feeling..When i was in mumbai, i used to go to mount marys or just walk down carter road or reclamation ..or driv down to marine drive and have strawberrys and cream !

Iceman said...

U came back smiling... thats what matters!

Now i dont have a problem... that I have my parents waiting for me to get back home!

I've felt empty all my life! Off late in life there was nothing to win & nothing left to lose!

But i think when u have ur family with u, it starts making all the difference!

So go home when u feel alone, empty!

bEAST said...

Hey! You alrite? Hope you are. Waise such moments are really depressing, but then certain part of it al is very beautiful as well. These things that you took time out for this day, You wudnt av done it otherwise. rite? Such a beautiful part of ur life u were mising on. hena

Mayank said...

Heyy Cuckoo,

Cheer up girl ! I hope after those smiles u r alright now.

"to be with the restless and nervous waves... hitting the shores angrily, letting out all the frustrations... again & again & again "....... how beautifully you have described it.

keep smiling always.

Princess Banter said...

I actually do that too. I hope on the train or the bus with no particular destination in mind -- in hopes of losing the nagging and gnawing thoughts in my head. I'm glad that you came back home smiling... I know how it is to feel that way. And it's miserable.

Pyare Mohan said...

miles that turned into smiles! keep smiling!

Aditi said...

a big hug cuckoo i hope u're feeling better now
=)

abhijit said...

good to know you came back home smiling:-) you made me remember my own college days too!

Pijush said...

Wonderful post Cuckoo.. the feelings are expressed perfectly.. Happy to know that Cuckoo is smiling now and Wish you a nice Deepavali ahead.

Ram N said...

sounds familiar state of mind sometimes ..... the therapy varies but the end result / objective to treat the mood is similar ....

mirrored

keep posting the way u do .....

Raghu said...

Well thats true.... sometimes we get in to a state of mind for which there is no explanation....so i just go out for a drive and it helps me to relax.....

Sam said...

ah!! nice places u mention gal.. i too loved roaming abt that during my brief say in mumbai!!
and frnakly, i can somehow understand how u felt better.. sweet memories always chase away the depression of today!!

Chauke Harpreet Singh said...

Oh I remembered Karol Bagh’s Kulfi falooda from Mehre di Hatti ke bajuwali dukaan. :)

Where is karol bagh kee tikki chaat?

Pijush said...

Cuckoo, you have been tagged for something, check my blog :-)

Mansi Desai said...

hey cuckoo! hope you are feeling better now..I'm adding you to my friends' blogroll on my tech blog:)

Wish you and your family a very happy Diwali!!

Keshi said...

I wanna hold ur hand too Cuckoo :) Lovely post!

Sweet ol memories cure us...atleast for a while..

HAPPY DIWALI BABEZ!


Keshi.

Jeseem said...

ohhh those golden memories. makes one smile everytime :)
but u had to mention all that food and make mouth-watering too..

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

We all need our quiet times for reflection. My daily walk, just my dog and I, on a usually deserted beach, puts my day on track. Even if the wind is blowing, and the tide high and angry, it's invigorating.

I am shocked at what you described, people polluting the sea. How tragic..

Ash said...

Happy Diwali to you and your loved ones!!

mathew said...

every one of us have such personal memories..which are lost over a period of time..and we get to see them after a long time..it a nice feelin of nostalgia..
like meeting old friends from school in orkut after 10-11 years..

AJEYA RAO said...

Happens and has happened with me several times. I always need some time just alone, do nothing or may be do things that i enjoy, that brings back memories, like how u did.

My be i might sound a little phyloso...but these are the times when we really start enjoying the moments then and there. We notice the smallest of smallest moments of our life that makes us smile.

Back from vacation. Went to Shirdi and nearby temples. Will post on them.

Happy Deepavali

Kalyan said...

I think the important thing was at he end of it 'Came back home. Smiling. :)))))'....so many times it happens to many of us that we have a good outing but one sad thing or something we don't like makes the entire mood sour...nice reading your experiences!

Peter said...

... and your next post will follow...?

Cuckoo said...

Amey,
You are missing many things, not only falooda. :-) Yeah, that's the correct spelling. :)

Praveen,
Yes of course !! And that’s why I came back smiling. :-) See I am still smiling. ;)

Peter,
Thank you. :-)
I can see you have done quite a few posts, will visit one of these days.

Lazy & SiD,
Ha ha ….Anyone can relate to those vada pavs . :-)

Cuckoo said...

Starry,
Thank you. Yes, it is very peaceful.
I will visit your blog very soon, was traveling.

Backpakker,
Yes, it is very common ailment. ;) I am glad that I could touch your chords.

Iceman,
Hey dude !! How you doing ?
How well you said… nothing to win & nothing left to lose!

So go home when u feel alone,.. Ha Ha.. I went away from home to be alone. ;)

Beast,
Yes, friend. I am alright. :-)

And I 100% agree with you on that. :-) So, how’s life going on ? When is the D-day ? :P

Cuckoo said...

Mayank,
Thanks for appreciative words. It came from my heart.

Princess B,
Well, I don’t do that normally but don’t know why I wanted to go to that side. I guess, I was missing something very deeply.

PM,
Thank you. :-) See I am still smiling. ;)

Aditi,
Thank you dear.

Cuckoo said...

Abhijit,
I am glad that I could touch your chords somewhere. And thank you. :-)

Pijush,
Thank you Pijush. I know you have tagged me. Will visit your blog in a few days time. Let me see what it is.

Ram N,
Yes, it is very common ailment. ;) I am glad that I could touch your chords.

Thank you for the appreciation. Keep them coming. Much appreciated. ;)

And you keep coming.

Raghu,

:-) Yes, it is a common phenomenon. I am glad I could come out of it then & there. sometimes it takes days/weeks for that.

Thanks for your visit, keep coming.

Cuckoo said...

Sam,
Thank you Sammy dear. :P

Harpreet,
Where is karol bagh kee tikki chaat?.. Saanu kee pata ? Tussi dasso. :P

Manasi,
Thank you for the wishes. And thanks a ton for adding me on your blogroll. I am honoured.

Keshi,
Thank you. :-) I very badly needed that hug.
I can see you have done quite a few posts, will visit one of these days.

Cuckoo said...

Jeseem,
Ha Ha… is your mouth still watering ?? Come to India. :-)

Carol,
Yes sweet lady, I could visualize that.. your going to beach is very similar to my things what I do when I need time for myself.

Yes, that’s the tragic part of people polluting the sea. I think more or less... it happens everywhere.

Ash,
Thank you dear. Hope you had a great Diwali.

Mathew,
Yes, very true!!

Cuckoo said...

Ajeya,
Yes, it is a common thing. I am glad I could come out of it then & there. Sometimes it takes days or month. Am I right ?

Oh sure, waiting for your posts. Hope you had a good time.

Kalyan,
:-) Yes. You are right.

Thank you for nice words.

Peter,
Yes, of course !!

Guruprasad said...

next time you feel like this you just have to write here... and the number of comments you get from your well-wishers will cheer anybody up :-)

a good meal works for me :-)

and if it works for you, you could try haji ali, or babulnath, or the shiva temple next to hotel renaissance in powai.

Cuckoo said...

Guruprasad,
Oh thank you very much for your so nice words. :) I need a quiet place and nice music to work wonders on me.

Keep coming.