A Delusion ?

He was around 11-12 years old. Dark in complexion, big black sad eyes, beautiful and innocent face, unkempt hair. Wearing an unbuttoned crumpled checked shirt and a half pant, he came close to me and mumbled something.

It was raining heavily at around 11 that Sunday night. We, three of us, were waiting at Bandra station for a local train to take us home. We had avoided the car mainly for three reasons – heavy rains, night time and Mumbai roads. The electronic board on the platform was showing the arrival time of next train as 11:06 PM.

As I was busy speaking, I could not notice him at first. He raised his voice a little more without touching or poking me, contrasting to what generally kids of his likes do. I looked back at him. With tearful eyes and almost crying face he requested “Ek biscuit khila do na wahaN se (Please buy me a biscuit from there)” pointing to the kiosk nearby.

For the first time in my life someone who looked like a beggar, had not asked me any money; instead he had asked for food.
I, as a principle, never give a single penny to beggars even if they are old or standing in front of a temple. Begging is something I strongly disapprove of, but when I saw that boy’s sad and hungry face I immediately decided to buy him food. To me, it was a request and not a begging.

I have heard of many begging rackets where they force young children to beg for money and at the end of everyday torture them mercilessly if they have not collected the required minimum amount. As I was moving towards the kiosk with him, flurry of thoughts started bothering me.. was he one of them ? Had he collected enough for the day ? What punishment he gets when he doesn’t ?

The kiosk had many varieties of snacks .. from biscuits to vada pav, pakoda’s, buns, muffins, Lays, some cool drinks/slush and tea. He guided me to a side where biscuits were sold. But I wanted to buy him a full meal instead of just a small packet of biscuit. I asked him “Why not something heavy to eat, why do you want to have only a biscuit ?”.

Very hesitantly, he agreed for a chai (tea) & a small paav (bun). Nothing more than that. Perhaps his stomach had resized itself with the very little he used to get daily.

When I was opening my purse to pay for it, he stretched his hand and out came a Rupee one coin which he kept on the counter. “Ye ek he rupiya hai mere paas, baki ka tum de do (I have only this one rupee, you pay the rest)”. I told him to keep it with him and paid the full amount. I was touched by this little lad’s self-respect.
By the time I could get the balance amount back from the shopkeeper, the boy had taken away the chai & paav to a corner near the shop without me noticing it.

I came back to my place. It seemed the train was going to be late by a few minutes. It was still raining and the weather had turned a bit chilled. I could not resist myself to have a glimpse of that boy. I turned and glanced. There he was in a corner, gulping down a cold paav with a hot cup of chai. He looked very hungry. I did not want to invade his privacy of satisfactorily eating a meal but before I could turn my back to him, he caught me glance. A very pure and genuine smile came to his face and from that distance he gestured in a “Thank you”.

I smiled. My day was made.

As the train rolled into the station, I looked for him again. There was something very intriguing to him that kept me doing that. We got in, our train started to move; I searched for him on the platform.

And there I saw him performing once again the same ritual to a group of four students in the age group of 20-22 years. Again.

What was it ?

Was it a habit or was he still hungry ? If yes, then why he refused to take something more from me ? Was he shy or was it self-respect ? Was it a necessity for him, an illusion for me ?

While the train rumbled through, I rambled on my insane thoughts.

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